Please check my writing
Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 2:48 pm
Hi, I`m Amy from Indonesia..I need help in my writing..Please look through my writing..
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the
following topic.
"Prevention is better than cure."
Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to
spending on health education and preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
You should write at least 250 words.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with
examples and relevant evidence.
Essay:
Since decades ago, people believed that prevention is better than cure, but the implementation of this statement still swinging. It is clear for me that not only is the treatment important but health education and preventive measures play significant role as well. So, country`s health budget should be carefully spent on how to get citizens healthier. There are a number of reasons why this is important.
First, spending health budget on health education will save much money to the country. For instance, when i worked on a village in North Aceh subdistrict, there was a significant differences in the number of patients with infectious disease before and after we came. We, as the first line of health services, decided to do health promotion twice a week that focused on self higiene, sanitation and prevention of infectious disease spreading. This efforts made a dramatically decline of patient that came to the primary health service in that village. It is also saved much money because the health insurances that covered by the government did not need to be used.
Second, health education and preventive measures also rise the citizens` quality of life. Obviously, health promotion and preventive measures contribute to the increasing of healthy people, not only in rural area but also in urban area. Immunization, health counselling, and case finding into isolated area result in declining of infectious disease spreading. Early screening of noninfectious disease such as hypertension and diabetes mellitus also reduce the risk of patient disability in the future. As the result, instead of staying in the bed and spending much money for medication, people will use their time to work, do their hobbies and get along with their family. In the final outcome, they will be happier and their quality of life is increase.
To conclude, as a doctor, i agree if a country`s health budget should be spent more on health education and preventive measures than only used to treat sick people. The country will get advantages such as saving much money and increase their citizens` quality of life. This efforts also give good effects to both countries and their citizens.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the
following topic.
"Prevention is better than cure."
Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to
spending on health education and preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
You should write at least 250 words.
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with
examples and relevant evidence.
Essay:
Since decades ago, people believed that prevention is better than cure, but the implementation of this statement still swinging. It is clear for me that not only is the treatment important but health education and preventive measures play significant role as well. So, country`s health budget should be carefully spent on how to get citizens healthier. There are a number of reasons why this is important.
First, spending health budget on health education will save much money to the country. For instance, when i worked on a village in North Aceh subdistrict, there was a significant differences in the number of patients with infectious disease before and after we came. We, as the first line of health services, decided to do health promotion twice a week that focused on self higiene, sanitation and prevention of infectious disease spreading. This efforts made a dramatically decline of patient that came to the primary health service in that village. It is also saved much money because the health insurances that covered by the government did not need to be used.
Second, health education and preventive measures also rise the citizens` quality of life. Obviously, health promotion and preventive measures contribute to the increasing of healthy people, not only in rural area but also in urban area. Immunization, health counselling, and case finding into isolated area result in declining of infectious disease spreading. Early screening of noninfectious disease such as hypertension and diabetes mellitus also reduce the risk of patient disability in the future. As the result, instead of staying in the bed and spending much money for medication, people will use their time to work, do their hobbies and get along with their family. In the final outcome, they will be happier and their quality of life is increase.
To conclude, as a doctor, i agree if a country`s health budget should be spent more on health education and preventive measures than only used to treat sick people. The country will get advantages such as saving much money and increase their citizens` quality of life. This efforts also give good effects to both countries and their citizens.