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Please help me to evaluate this essay: Universities should a

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 7:38 am
by nguyenquanghuy
Topic 8:
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. Do you agree or disagree?


The gender discrimination has been prevalent in many parts of the world for centuries. This has urged universities to provide their students with a gender-based learning environment in an effort to develop the gender equality all over the world.

Nonetheless, the gender balance in universities does not mean there ought to be the same number of male and female students in all subjects. The proportion of each gender should depend on the nature of each subject. For example, those subjects that deal with great physical strength or stamina such as military subjects are more suitable for men than women, thus should be studied by more male students than female, and vice versa.

Forcing students to participate in inappropriate studies to achieve the absolute gender balance is likely to reduce the effectiveness and efficiency of studying and teaching. Obviously, more time and efforts of teachers can be wasted on students who have no talent or interest in the subject they are required to study. For instance, as physical education is an obligatory subject in all Vietnamese universities, many female students who do not possess adequate physical strength have to take more than one semester to finish the subject.

Furthermore, it is not expedient for universities to decide admission based on gender; merits, educations and aptitude should be taken into account instead. It is apparently unfair if a male student, who meets all requirements of a subject, is rejected from its admission for the gender issue.

In conclusion, basing on all of the reasons above, I am convinced that the sex balance in every subject should not be applied in universities.

Word Count: 269

Please leave your remark and assessment after reading.

Thank you!

Re: Please help me to evaluate this essay: Universities shou

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 11:22 am
by robin20y
The gender discrimination has been prevalent in many parts of the world for centuries.**this sentence is not accurate grammatically**. This has urged universities to provide their students with a gender-based learning environment in an effort to develop the gender equality all over the world. ( You are moving out of topic from here. The question really asks whether universities implement gender balance or not.

Nonetheless, the gender balance in universities does not mean there ought to be the same number of male and female students in all subjects. The proportion of each gender should depend on the nature of each subject. For example, those subjects that deal with great physical strength or stamina such as military subjects(there are no military subjects in universities) are more suitable for men than women( illogical sentence...women have special wings in armies) , thus should be studied by more male students than female, and vice versa.

Forcing students to participate in inappropriate studies( who is forcing students to study.....this sentence has no relation to the question) to achieve the absolute gender balance is likely to reduce the effectiveness and efficiency of studying and teaching. Obviously, more time and efforts of teachers can be wasted on students who have no talent or interest in the subject they are required to study. For instance, as physical education is an obligatory subject in all Vietnamese universities, many female students who do not possess adequate physical strength have to take more than one semester to finish the subject.
The example you gave here has nothing to do with the real meaning of the question

Furthermore, it is not expedient for universities to decide admission based on gender; merits, educations and aptitude should be taken into account instead. It is apparently unfair if a male student, who meets all requirements of a subject, is rejected from its admission for the gender issue.

In conclusion, basing on all of the reasons above, I am convinced that the sex balance in every subject should not be applied in universities.

Re: Please help me to evaluate this essay: Universities shou

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 1:10 pm
by nguyenquanghuy
Thank you so much for your quick reply. I will try not to be off topic in the next essay.

Best,

Re: Please help me to evaluate this essay: Universities shou

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 2:03 pm
by nguyenquanghuy
Btw, I posted another essay a few days ago, but no one has commented yet. I would really appreciate if you can give me some of your thorough remarks for it.

Here is the link to the post: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3718

Thank you so much!