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Can you please provide me with the feedback?

You are looking for part-time employment.

Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter

introduce yourself
explain what type of work you are looking for
say what experience and skills you have

Dear Sir Or Madam,

I am writing to register with your agency as a part-time lecturer for teaching Mathematics.

I have worked in the teaching industry for a total of ten years, first as an assistant, later as a tutor for secondary class students and for the last three years as a Teacher at Adams Institute.

I am looking for the position of part-time Mathematics trainer as I am focusing on my career to progress from junior to senior level. I have always been interested in the teaching section and I believe your organisation is a well-run quality teaching institute. I would very much like to work for your organization.

I believe I have all the skills, knowledge and expertise that you are looking for. I have lots of teaching initiative, can schedule and prioritise the curriculum and can work to strict deadlines. I also train particularly well to pupil and would enjoy educating the students for competetive exams.

I look forward to hearing from you and hope that you will be able to invite me for an interview.

Yours faithfully,
Leena Karmer

Hi Cognos,

I was just commenting on another student's awkward use of capitals, and I believe the same is true here. Why are the words "or", "teacher" and "mathematics" capitalized? Are these proper nouns?

Aside from this, I feel you have a very good command of English grammar. There are a few areas of awkwardness (mostly due to poor word choices), but overall the piece reads with a certain fluency not seen at the band 6 level. Sentences like "I would very much like to work for your organization." are succinct and to the point, and I guarantee that your examiner will take note of your ability to write in this way.

I'm positioning this writing at about band 7. With more lexical resource accuracy and sharper grammar, this letter would easily rocket to band 8 and beyond. But as it is written here, there are just too many little issues for it to place any higher.