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Hi everyone!

I am practising writing because I have and IELTS exam on Saturday, I am confident about every part of the exam except for the writing part, can you please check whether or not you think the question and answer is sufficient and do you have any remarks how I could improve? Thank you in advance!

Some say that it is more important for employers to consider academic qualifications rather than personal life experience and values when hiring an employee. Do you agree or disagree? What are positive and negative aspects of the issue?

I do not completely agree or disagree with this issue. I think future employees can be of great value when having a lot of personal life experience an values, sometimes through many extracurricular activities. But also people’s academic qualifications are considered as a big plus for organizations. I will first elaborate on what can be arguments to agree with this issue and in the second part I will tell why I don’t not completely agree with this statement.
Your life experience and values can be much more important and really say something than your ‘academic papers’. Many people can have a diploma from studies such as law or business administration but probably will be very different employees and can work on different levels in the organization. Therefore for employers it is necessary to also look at peoples life experience and values because people can be more or less developed because of that.
Why I disagree with this issue and what can be negative is because for some reason there are academic universities present in all countries around the world. If you are young you are able to learn specific skills for all kinds of future jobs. Therefore it is also important to have an degree from an university. Everyone in the former mentioned studies such as law or business administration have the same minimum level and had the same courses which they should have passed when they are graduated which means that they are equally suitable for the job.
To conclude, I think it is important for organizations looking for employees to hire it is both important to look at their academic qualifications because you know what they can do in terms of skills and expertise but also personal experience, values and extracurricular activities are of great value for those corporations. From my opinion there are both positive and negative aspects to the issue and there must be a right balance.


(I know that it are slightly to many words)

Hi there, I wrote my suggestions in brackets. This is what I can say now, and I'll continue later. Hope it helps.
I do not completely agree or disagree with this issue( I am not hundred percent with or against this issue).
I think future employees can be of great (greater) value. experience an values( and practice).
sometimes through many extracurricular activities( such experience might be gained from previous jobs or from extracurricular activities).
But also people’s academic qualifications are considered as a big plus for organizations (Nevertheless, the academic qualifications are considered to be of significant importance for most employers)
I will first elaborate on what can be arguments to agree with this issue(It could be argued that ........)
and in the second part I will tell why I don’t not completely agree with this statement.( [color=#FF0000]no need to say that[/color] )

- I will first elaborate on what can be arguments to agree with this issue(It could be argued that an academically qualified employee is far trusted and competent than their non qualified counterparts because they have the required authenticated knowledge.)

Hi Iristja,

You must have taken your test already. How did you go?

I am probably not much of help commenting on your essay since you took your test already, but for the sake of your writing in the future which you might have, I have few comments:

- First, you should practice writing a complete sentence which carries a meaningful message. I am not sure which background you come from, but from my own experience, the writing style we were taught in school in my country involves lots of "beating around the bush" with lots of nonsense. Academic writing is very different. Each sentence, even each word, has its own job, which is to convey a particular message. So don't bluff.

- After you are comfortable with writing sentences, short and complex ones, move on to practicing a complete paragraph. A paragraph comprises of several sentences about a particular topic/idea/argument. It starts with a topic sentence stating your idea/argument followed by other sentences which are to support and/or elaborate on your main idea/argument.

- When you are comfortable with writing a complete paragraph, that's when you are ready to write an essay.

I am sure you already know a lot of this but we sometimes tend to forget if we haven't used certain skills in a long time. That happened when I got back to essay writing to prepare for the Ielts test too.

I hope that you'd find this useful somehow.

Cheers,
Chi