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I'm starting learning IELTS and I have decided to learn by myself to save money. Being able to find this forum is a big help since I don't have anyone to check my work. Hope you guys can help me
This is my writing and it's the first I have ever done:

TOPIC: In many countries, school children are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think this should be enforced in all schools?

ANSWER:
Many people argue that school children should be required to wear school uniforms. Therefore, a large number of countries have made wearing school uniforms compulsory for their students. Personally, I think this should not be enforced in all schools because wearing casual clothes when going to school has its own advantages.

Wearing casual, personal clothes can show one’s characters as well as his hobbies or his sense of fashion. They are signs of personality, which is an important element to distinguish one person from another. These differences when expressed can encourage children to show their personal thoughts, leading to a greater freedom in school, which can make students more confident, therefore participating better in their classes. Furthermore, wearing casual clothes also can also make students more comfortable especially in tropical countries whose summers are extremely hot. The high temperature results in a high amount of sweating, which is very unpleasant for children when they have to wear tight uniforms.

However, that children should be required to wear school uniforms is also a reasonable idea. This can guarantee the equality between students where everyone looks the same. One more advantage of wearing uniforms is that children won’t have to worry about what they should wear when going to school. Also, many schools believe that wearing uniforms is an indication of good discipline.

In conclusion, I personally support the idea of children wearing casual clothes when going to school. However, it is beneficial as long as they satisfy the minimum requirement for formality in educational environment.
(254 words)

I am not a native speaker either. I have only a few personal learning experience to share.

I think it is of great important to work on ONE topic sentence and elaborate on it. I have found, in some paragraphes you tend to introduce the topic sentence without further extension, which is the main focus for examine to assess your logical argument.

'Also, many schools believe that wearing a uniform is an indication of good discipline.'

further to this point, it is crucial to stay one topic for one paragraph. sometimes you include two points.

'However, that children should be required to wear school uniforms is also a reasonable idea. This can guarantee equality between students where everyone looks the same. One more advantage of wearing uniforms is that children won’t have to worry about what they should wear when going to school. Also, many schools believe that wearing a uniform is an indication of good discipline.'

complicated sentence structures are indeed extra points but it would be better to avoid overusing them such as this sentence ' These differences when expressed can encourage children to express their thoughts, leading to a greater freedom in school, which can make students more confident, therefore participating better in their classes'

My advice would be 'These differences when expressed can encourage children to express their thoughts, leading to a greater freedom. Therefore, students are more likely to be confident and better perform in their classrooms.

Just some personal thoughts. Please do not get offended.