Evaluate General Writing Task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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hazarel
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:56 pm

Evaluate General Writing Task 2

Post by hazarel »

Hi,please could you evaluate and correct my essay that talk about the topic written below:

Topic
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumsnaces of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it,should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant exemples from your own knowledge.Write at least 250 words.My Essay:
In the world everyday there are people that do every type of crime. But how should be decided the punishment for these people? There are two different points of view on this question, let's look over both. On the one hand, there is some people who believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. For these people doesn't matter who did the crime, or how did it and why.The punishments have to be equal, for everyone, without making any kind of discrimination.For exemple, when someone kills another person, doesn't matter if he or she did it to protect himself, or if the one who did the crime is rich or someone well known.He or she has to be punished with a fixed punishment, like a given number of years in the jail.On the other hand, other people, however, argue that the circumstances and the motivation for committing a certain crime, should all the times be taken into account to decide the punishment.There are many special cases in wich it's absolutely necessary examin the circumstances.et's do some examples.If a person does any type of crime, and he does it when has a mentally sick, he dosen't must to do jail,but he has to be recovered in a clinic for mentally ills.If someone , like a girl, kills a man because he tried to abuse her, is not fair to give her a punishment.On my point of view, the second one method used to decide the punishment is more correct for everyone and actally is the more used by the states around the world.
hazarel
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2014 3:56 pm

Re: please evaluate my writing task 2

Post by hazarel »

Hi,please could you evaluate and correct my essay that talk about the topic written below:


Topic
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumsnaces of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it,should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant exemples from your own knowledge.Write at least 250 words.



My Essay:
In the world everyday there are people that do every type of crime. But how should be decided the punishment for these people? There are two different points of view on this question, let's look over both. On the one hand, there is some people who believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. For these people doesn't matter who did the crime, or how did it and why.The punishments have to be equal, for everyone, without making any kind of discrimination.For exemple, when someone kills another person, doesn't matter if he or she did it to protect himself, or if the one who did the crime is rich or someone well known.He or she has to be punished with a fixed punishment, like a given number of years in the jail.On the other hand, other people, however, argue that the circumstances and the motivation for committing a certain crime, should all the times be taken into account to decide the punishment.There are many special cases in wich it's absolutely necessary examin the circumstances.et's do some examples.If a person does any type of crime, and he does it when has a mentally sick, he dosen't must to do jail,but he has to be recovered in a clinic for mentally ills.If someone , like a girl, kills a man because he tried to abuse her, is not fair to give her a punishment.On my point of view, the second one method used to decide the punishment is more correct for everyone and actally is the more used by the states around the world.
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