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2 more days to the exam, which band is this essay?

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2015 6:48 pm
by centigradz
Hello everybody,

I'm going to take my IELTS exam on saturday. Can anybody give me an indication on which band the following essay is? please.

Thanks in advance.

Topic:
In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence.

My essay:
With the current economic crisis, it is difficult to maintain a family. Thus, both parents need to work in order to guarantee the economic stability of a family. While, some people argue that this is fine, many others think that the absence of parents can have adverse effects on a child's development. This essay will illustrate the reasons for this.

Nowadays, it is common to see both parents employed. Therefore, the children grow up with babysitters, or with grandparents. These parents, can merely find some time for their children. Because, they dedicate much of their time to earn money. For example, some of my colleagues have children, and when I ask them "How much time do you spend with your children?" They reply "Well, around one hour a day. Isn't it enough?". It is common belief among these parents, that nannies can replace them, and the children would be fine without their parents.

On the other hand, the lack of the presence of parents can have a negative impact on the children. For example, some of my friends grew up without much support from their parents. As a result, I usually see that they have no respect for adults. Moreover, these my friends do not even care about the wellbeing of their parents. It is safe to assume, that when these people will become parents, they will treat their children the same way they had been treated when they were young.
In my opinion, parent's presence is a must for the growth of a child. Therefore, they should dedicate much more time for their children.