Writing task 2. Please assess my writing

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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kiaconchim
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Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:25 pm

Writing task 2. Please assess my writing

Post by kiaconchim »

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

There is an argument about whether the advantages of video games outnumber the disadvantages. In my opinion, I believe that even though video games benefit the players in some ways, their negative impacts are still much more significant.

One the one hand, there are some advantages in playing video games. Just as what they are originally designed to, video games help gamers relieve from their stress faced from work, or schools. Being submerged into virtual worlds, the players will temporarily not have to contemplate about all the fluctuations they are enduring, hence regain calmness and pull themselves together. Moreover, it is true that video games do stimulate gamers’ creativity. Their imagination will be boosted thanks to all of the complicated virtual effects in video games, which may be beneficial for real-life work or study, such as art, music composition.

On the other hand, the results that video games bring about are more of drawbacks than benefits. First, there are numerous indecent contents in video games nowadays. Violence, pornography, and crime appear in almost every video game for teenagers, those who are at the most vulnerable age of their lifetime. This may lead to various undesirable outcomes: increases in juvenile crime rate, inappropriate manners in young generations, and so on. Secondly, too much of playing video games isolates gamers from the real world. They will not only be unaware of the events and occasions happening around them, but also deteriorate their real relationships with their real friends and families. Last but not least, due to the innovation of the Internet, the modern players are more prone to electronic frauds. On the Internet, every detail about virtual “friends” might be made up, and when a gamer trusts the false information, he becomes a lucrative prey for the fraudster.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the number of threats from video games is much greater than the benefits they cultivate.
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