Writing Task 2, Academic

[mgeed]

I will be so grateful for anyone that helps me by correcting and proofreading my essay.
Thanx in advance
Topic:
Poular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

My Essay:
For many decades, football in general, and particularly, the football World cup have gained a lot of popularity. It became, among other international sporting events, one of the events that attract the attention of millions of people around the globe. Some believe that such events are important as they help relieving the international tensions, and provide a safe way for people to release patriotic emotions. However, others refute this. These two points of views will be discussed in this order.
It is believed by some people that the football World cup and similar international sporting events, are vital as they help in reducing international tension, as well as, providing a safe way for people to express their loyalty to their countries. For instance, these events provide opportunities for people from different cultures and backgrounds to meet, and to know more about each other, which in turn helps reducing international tension. Furthermore, many people travel from their to the events venues in order to support their national teams. that support represent a way of expressing the loyalty to their countries. After analyzing these fats, it is clear that why some people support this adopt this point of view.
On the other hand, many argue that, that events are not so essential in reducing international tensions as there are more useful to do so. For example, Non-Governmental Organizations help a lot in that issue. The same goes for the effect of international sporting events in providing a safe way for expressing patriotic emotions, as, at the bottom line, these emotions should be, naturally, expressed in a safe way. Thus, it is clear that why some people gravitate towards this point of view.
To conclude with, the importance of international sporting events in reducing the international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way is questionable, and it is supported and refuted by many. However, after analyzing these two points of view, it is clear that international sporting events affect too many people as it facilitate an extra-ordinary gathering, hence, it have a grate impact.

[danyocean]

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

International sporting events, such as football World Cup, are important reducing international tensions and developing nationalistic fervour in a good way. I personally agree with this statement based on some reasons.

[mgeed]

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

International sporting events, such as football World Cup, are important reducing international tensions and developing nationalistic fervour in a good way. I personally agree with this statement based on some reasons.

Thank you Danyocean.
some argue that one should not use personal pronoun when writing the essay, is that true?

[Flick]

Topic:
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

My Essay:
For many decades, football in general, and particularly, the Football World Cup have gained a lot of popularity. It has become, among other international sporting events, an event that attracts the attention of millions of people around the globe. Some believe that such events are important as they help relieve international tensions, and provide a safe way for people to release patriotic emotions. However, others refute this. These two points of views will be discussed in this order.

It is believed by some people that the Football World Cup and similar international sporting events are vital as they help in reducing international tension, as well as providing a safe way for people to express their loyalty to their countries. For instance, these events provide opportunities for people from different cultures and backgrounds to meet, and to get to know more about each other, which in turn helps reduce international tension. Furthermore, many people travel from their country to the event venue in order to support their national team. That support gives the fans a way of expressing the loyalty to their country. After analyzing these facts, it is clear why some people support this point of view.

On the other hand, many argue that these events are not so essential in reducing international tensions as there are more useful ways to do so. For example, Non-Government Organizations help a lot in this way.(<--How? Can you explain what NGOs do to help relieve tensions?) The same goes for the effect of international sporting events in providing a safe way to express patriotic emotions, as, at the bottom line, these emotions should be, naturally, expressed in a safe way. Thus, it is clear that why some people gravitate towards this point of view.

To conclude, the importance of international sporting events in reducing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way is questionable, and it is supported and refuted by many. However, after analyzing these two points of view, it is clear that international sporting events help many people as they facilitate an extraordinary gathering, hence, they have a significant impact.