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I received the following in an email from a student:

Task-2: some parents believe that it is good for children spend time on watching TV and computer games; but other parents believe that they should spend time on doing something else such as reading books.
Agree or disagree with above statement.

Task-1: you were with one of your friends on a place where you took some photos, one of the photos is not fine, write a letter to your friend telling him what is the problem with your photo:
In your letter you have to provide:
· Where you have taken this photo

· Why this photo is important for you

· What you want him to do for you to resolve this problem.

Hi Ryan,

I have written a response to the task2. Please review my writing. I would be really grateful to you.

Task-2: some parents believe that it is good for children to spend time on watching TV and computer games; but other parents believe that they should spend time on doing something else such as reading books.

Agree or disagree with above statement.

Some parents are of the view that it is good for children to learn things by watching television and playing computer games while others believe that it is wastage of time and that the children should study books to learn and participate in games which will help improve their health. It is argued that children should study books to learn different things and play outdoor games to maintain a healthier lifestyle. The manner in which studying books help improved academic results and how other activities like playing games will ensure good health and ensure learning other important skills, will be discussed in this essay.

Firstly, studying books will help the children learn about their course, history and religion etc. Studying course books will help children to achieve high academic results. For example, in China and Korea, parenting style is strict about studies and makes their children to spend more time in studying books. In a high school aptitude test conducted in shanghai, the best academic scores were achieved by Chinese students as compared to any other in the region. This result shows that how studying books benefits children’s knowledge. It is for this reason that the idea of studying books is supported.

Secondly, it is good for children to play games in an allotted timeframe by their parents which will help improve their health and this will allow them to learn other skills like teamwork. For instance, in Pakistan, many parents encourage their children to play games in the evening, games such as cricket, football and badminton etc. Playing games in public areas provide an opportunity to the children to mix up with others and most importantly help them learn the ability of becoming a part of the team. This helps them a lot in professional life too. The benefits of playing outdoor games can be seen. Thus, it is for this reason that the idea of playing games is supported.

It is proved that studying books help to achieve better academic results and other activities like games in parallel help students maintain a healthier life style and learn other important skills for professional life. By keeping in view the benefits of studies and games, it is predicted that more parents will emphasize on their children to study books for better knowledge and participation in games to maintain a healthier lifestyle.

its some time quite confusing that when an essay two sides are equally important in agree or disagree situation, then what to do?
As peoples says, to write an effective essay student should stick towards one side which is similar to this question.as both are important in life...

some parents believe that it is good for children to spend time on watching TV and computer games; but other parents believe that they should spend time on doing something else such as reading books.

Task-2: some parents believe that it is good for children to spend time on watching TV and computer games; but other parents believe that they should spend time on doing something else such as reading books.

Agree or disagree with above statement.

Some parents are of the view that it is good for children to learn things by watching television and playing computer games while others believe that it is ("a loss") wastage of time and that the children should study books to learn and participate in games which will help improve their health. It is argued that children should study books to learn different things and play outdoor games to maintain a healthier lifestyle. The manner in which studying books help improved academic results and how other activities like playing games will ensure good health and ensure learning other important skills, will be discussed in this essay.

Firstly, studying books will help the children learn about their course, history and religion etc. Studying course books will help children to achieve high academic results. For example, in China and Korea, parenting style is strict about studies and makes their children (no "to")to spend more time in studying books. In a high school aptitude test conducted in ("Shanghai") shanghai, the best academic scores were achieved by Chinese students as compared to any other in the region. This result shows that how studying books(",") benefits children’s knowledge. It is for this reason that the idea of studying books is supported.

Secondly, it is good for children to play games in an allotted timeframe by their parents which will help improve their health and this will allow them to learn other skills like teamwork. For instance, in Pakistan, many parents encourage their children to play games in the evening, (no "games") games such as cricket, football and badminton etc. Playing games in public areas provide an opportunity ("for") to the children to ("integrate") mix up with others and most importantly help them learn the ability of becoming a part of ("a") the team. This helps them a lot in ("their") professional life too. The benefits of playing outdoor games can be seen. Thus, it is for this reason that the idea of playing games is supported.

It is proved that studying books ("helps") help to achieve better academic results and other activities like games in parallel help students maintain a healthier life style and learn other important skills for ("their") professional life. By keeping in view the benefits of studies and games, it is predicted that more parents will emphasize ("for") on their children to study books for better knowledge and participation in games to maintain a healthier lifestyle.

I liked this essay quite a lot - quite impressive .

iffi wrote:Hi Ryan,

I have written a response to the task2. Please review my writing. I would be really grateful to you.

Task-2: some parents believe that it is good for children to spend time on watching TV and computer games; but other parents believe that they should spend time on doing something else such as reading books.

Agree or disagree with above statement.

Some parents are of the view that it is good for children to learn things by watching television and playing computer games while others believe that it is wastage of time and that the children should study books to learn and participate in games which will help improve their health. It is argued that children should study books to learn different things and play outdoor games to maintain a healthier lifestyle. The manner in which studying books help improved academic results and how other activities like playing games will ensure good health and ensure learning other important skills, will be discussed in this essay.

Firstly, studying books will help the children learn about their course, history and religion etc. Studying course books will help children to achieve high academic results. For example, in China and Korea, parenting style is strict about studies and makes their children to spend more time in studying books. In a high school aptitude test conducted in shanghai, the best academic scores were achieved by Chinese students as compared to any other in the region. This result shows that how studying books benefits children’s knowledge. It is for this reason that the idea of studying books is supported.

Secondly, it is good for children to play games in an allotted timeframe by their parents which will help improve their health and this will allow them to learn other skills like teamwork. For instance, in Pakistan, many parents encourage their children to play games in the evening, games such as cricket, football and badminton etc. Playing games in public areas provide an opportunity to the children to mix up with others and most importantly help them learn the ability of becoming a part of the team. This helps them a lot in professional life too. The benefits of playing outdoor games can be seen. Thus, it is for this reason that the idea of playing games is supported.

It is proved that studying books help to achieve better academic results and other activities like games in parallel help students maintain a healthier life style and learn other important skills for professional life. By keeping in view the benefits of studies and games, it is predicted that more parents will emphasize on their children to study books for better knowledge and participation in games to maintain a healthier lifestyle.

amishjabeen16 wrote:its some time quite confusing that when an essay two sides are equally important in agree or disagree situation, then what to do?
As peoples says, to write an effective essay student should stick towards one side which is similar to this question.as both are important in life...

some parents believe that it is good for children to spend time on watching TV and computer games; but other parents believe that they should spend time on doing something else such as reading books.

Personally I introduce the topic, then give one side, the other side and then a conclusion summarising and my opinion.

iffi wrote:Hi Ryan,

I have written a response to the task2. Please review my writing. I would be really grateful to you.

Task-2: some parents believe that it is good for children to spend time on watching TV and computer games; but other parents believe that they should spend time on doing something else such as reading books.

Agree or disagree with above statement.

Some parents are of the view that it is good for children to learn things by watching television and playing computer games while others believe that it is wastage of time and that the children should study books to learn and participate in games which will help improve their health[It would have been a better option if we say the same thing in other words than mentioned in topic of essay.Some parents are of the view that children should devote their time on waitching television while other refure this argument in favor of reading books being a more serious surce of learning. It is argued that children should study books to learn different things and [enjoy other activities like]play outdoor games to maintain a healthier lifestyle[Why should we include this deviation from topic;a healthier life style]. The manner in which studying books help improved [why third form?]academic results and how other activities like playing games will ensure good health and ensure learning other important skills, will be discussed in this essay. [The sentence need revision:This can be proved by analyzing the manner in which the habit of studying books improve academic results as well as improve other important skills ]

Firstly, studying books will help the children learn about their course, history and religion etc[If we have discussed only academic results above then why should we discuss history and religion now?]. Studying course books will help children to achieve high academic results[Why repiition of words]. For example, in China and Korea, parenting style is strict[A stricter parenting style] about studies and makes[enforce] their children to spend more time in studying books. In a high school aptitude test conducted in shanghai, the best academic scores were achieved by Chinese students as compared to any other in the region.[Hence] This result shows that how studying books benefits children’s knowledge[Are not we discusing grades ?]. It is for this reason that the idea of studying books is supported.

Secondly, it is good for children to play games in an allotted timeframe by their parents[In a specific time alloted by their parents] which will help improve their health and this will [also]allow them to learn other skills like teamwork. For instance, in Pakistan, many parents encourage their children to play games in the evening, games[why repetition of games word?] such as cricket, football and badminton etc. Playing games in public areas provide[s] an opportunity to the children to mix up with others and most importantly help them learn the ability of becoming a part of the team. This helps them a lot in professional life too. The benefits of playing outdoor games can be seen. Thus, it is for this reason that the idea of playing games is supported[Thus, it's clear why the idea of playing outdoor games should be encouraged].

It is proved[use another words. Like , In compendium] that studying books help to[to is unncessary] achieve better academic results and other activities like games in parallel help students maintain a healthier life style and learn other important skills for professional life[the sentence need revision]. By keeping in view the benefits of studies and games, it is predicted[Keeping nature of the essay, We should recommend rather predict] that more parents will emphasize on their children to study books for better knowledge and participation in games to maintain a healthier lifestyle.

Following are my suggestions.
1.Read topic of essay many times.
2.Before you write any sentence, make sure its matches with topic.
3.Use right words.
4.Reading ryan essays will help you cram those wrods that make essay more appealing.

Please grade my essay and suggest some improvements. I would greatly appreciate it

Task-2: some parents believe that it is good for children to spend time on watching TV and computer games; but other parents believe that they should spend time on doing something else such as reading books.
Agree or disagree with above statement.

In this day and age, technology has tremendously impacted on children’s ways of life. While it is believed by some that youngsters should use their time for TV shows and online games, others contend that the time should be rather spent on reading books or outdoor activities. I believe that children should spend time on healthy activities rather than sedentary activities for the following reasons.

To begin with, spending too much time on computers can lead to many health problems. This is to say that if children spend most of their time sitting in front of a computer, then they will experience regular headache, sore eyes, backache and the list goes on. This means that they will not be able to grow up in a healthy way. In all, health problems would arise if teenagers use excessive amount of time for computer gaming.

Continuing, if teenagers spent too much time playing computer games or watching TV, then their academic performance could be negatively affected. In other words, computer games and interesting TV programmes could make children addictive, then children would use all their time for these activities and ignore their homework which results in low academic performance. Therefore, children would not gain any achievements if they participated in these activities all the time.

On the other hand, engaging in other valuable activities can help the youth stay healthy, thus being able to perform better in their study. By doing physical exercises or outside activities, children can gain physical fitness which prevents children from having illnesses. Once children are healthier and more energetic, they will likely to be more concentrated in their study. Thus, these activities are worth it for children’s time.

In conclusion, time should be well spent on physical activities rather than on TV shows or computer games as this could make children healthier and perform better in their study. Thus, it is highly recommended that parents should monitor how children spend their time regularly.