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Struggling to write detailed background statement

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 6:53 am
by terry3218
I've started an essay but finding it excruciatingly hard to write a detailed background statement (if you're familiar with Ryan's structure, you'll know what I'm talking about) on the following topic:

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Kindly chip in with your suggestions.

Regards

Re: Struggling to write detailed background statement

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 7:35 am
by Prams
Scope: Government investment, art, public services

I would have started my essay as..

Art is gaining a high popularity in today’s world. This statement can easily be claimed just by looking at the amount of money spent every year by the government on the art.

Background sentence: Art is gaining a high popularity in today’s world.
Detailed background sentence: This statement can easily be claimed just by looking at the amount of money spent every year by the government on the art.

Again this is my approach, and I am very much sure that there are quite a few more apt approaches.

Re: Struggling to write detailed background statement

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 9:22 am
by Prams
My writing on this topic:
Please post your opinion and suggestions for improvement.



Art is highly promoted in today’s world. This is very apparent by the amount of money spent every year by the government on the uplifting of art. It is strongly believed that the government should continue to spend the amount of money it is currently spending to promote art. If government is not taking correct steps, then there are high chances that very soon we would be forced to live in a world where there is no art! Moreover the financial benefit from art is enormous, which can’t be neglected.

In this modern era people tend to prefer education over art. Hence, traditional art is getting extinct. For instance, the number of quality singers are getting reduced day by day, due to the uncertainty in this profession. The onus lies on the government to promote it in such a way that the artist are encouraged to take up these arts as their primary profession rather than a mere hobby. Thus it is highly recommended that government should keep spending the sufficient amount of money toward the promotion of art.

Moreover, art has a great contribution toward a country's economic growth. For example, a certain part of revenue earned by an artist from cinema or music is paid towards "entertainment tax". This gives a boost to the nation's economy. The same amount when spent for public services doesn't contribute anything toward the economic growth. Thus the government should promote art by spending the amount of money assigned for it rather than cutting the budget of art and placing the same money for public services.

After a thorough analysis of the above points we can easily state that the financial aspects of art is very crucial, which deserves a deep thought. Also, to just keep the art alive the government need to promote it. The conclusion drawn based on these arguments is that the money spent for art is not a waste and that should not be invested for public services. By government's this act, the day is not far when we can again enjoy art at its very best.

Re: Struggling to write detailed background statement

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 10:21 am
by bas
Prams' suggestion is great. Conversely, you could make your first sentence about government spending in general then tie it in with art in the second sentence. Choose whichever method feels more natural for you.

Re: Struggling to write detailed background statement

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 11:03 am
by terry3218
Prams wrote:Scope: Government investment, art, public services

I would have started my essay as..

Art is gaining a high popularity in today’s world. This statement can easily be claimed just by looking at the amount of money spent every year by the government on the art.

Background sentence: Art is gaining a high popularity in today’s world.
Detailed background sentence: This statement can easily be claimed just by looking at the amount of money spent every year by the government on the art.

Again this is my approach, and I am very much sure that there are quite a few more apt approaches.
thanks for replying. Now sorry to sound dumb, but can you also suggest a thesis statement, if I believe that some funding should come from government while for the rest, artists should be left to their own devices.

Re: Struggling to write detailed background statement

Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 2:03 pm
by Prams
In my opinion the idea which you possess is difficult to express. As per Ryan's suggestion it always better to hold one side of the argument, and I agree cent percent with this idea.

Although if I was to write a thesis stating your opinion it would be something like-

Art is gaining a high popularity in today’s world. This statement can easily be claimed just by looking at the amount of money spent every year by the government on art. Although we can easily argue that the onus of the cost involved in art is not only on the government but also on the artist.

Background sentence: Art is gaining a high popularity in today’s world.
Detailed background sentence: This statement can easily be claimed just by looking at the amount of money spent every year by the government on art.
Thesis: Although we can easily argue that the onus of the cost involved in art is not only on the government but also on the artist.

Again I must say I too am learning. I have written an essay on this subject and posted the same. If, you or any reader find any mistake/areas of improvement please suggest.

Thanks!

Re: Struggling to write detailed background statement

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2015 1:56 am
by bas
I completely agree with Prams. One reason why I don't like Simons method is I am not convinced having a "balanced argument" will get you a high band score on agree/disagree tasks. It is possible but I think it is harder to justify. I would save those for the discussion essays (discuss the advantages and disadvantages of...) and only stick to one side of the argument like Ryan suggests.

Re: Struggling to write detailed background statement

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2015 9:46 am
by terry3218
Thank you Prams and bas, now I've just realised that I too should start following Ryan's structure from now on.