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How's this essay for band -7 ?

Q - Most people are going to universities these days than in the past, they start to work later in life with higher qualifications. Do you see this a positive or a negative development?

In this new era, education has been playing an extremely important role. This can be seen evidently with the increasing demand of qualified employees at the work place. The trend for going to universities for higher education is certainly creating a positive development in society. This will be proven by analysing the changing education system and companies’ need for competitive skills.

Firstly, these days educational institutions are introducing latest technologies and methods in their academic curriculum. For example, in many colleges, subjects like computer, graphic designing, digital printing, mass communication etc. getting taught as part of the core syllabus, which help students in enhancing their practical skills along with the basic theory. Thus it adds more value and weightage to effective learning before actual work exposure.

In addition to this, today, to handle competition, requires higher level of skills in communication, higher production, providing solutions to the problem and time management, which ascertain by having certain knowledge and practice. For example, In order to manage a team of 20 people and deliver work on time, one has to have basic tools of management and its components before one can actually work effectively. It makes it vital for having professional skills and academic achievements.

Following this look it has been shown that how the demanding work environment and advancement in teaching methodology elevating the outlook towards higher studies. It is expected that craving for higher qualification will accelerate in future.

Hi meengo,

From what I have noticed:
- workplace instead of work place (maybe work place is correct form too, but I will use former)
- The conclusion have a strange structure for me, especially this part:

[...]it has been shown that how the demanding work environment and advancement in teaching methodology[...]

- and finally I am not sure if your arguments and provided examples covers given thesis perfectly - but this is only my opinion.

But in overall in my opinion this is piece of good work. Nice vocabulary and clear essay structure. Again I am not an expert, but hope this will help.
Cheers

Hey Thanks for your time on grading .. I can see the confusion in the last paragraph .. will work on it.

This is my understanding from the rubrics. What do you say?

In this new era, education has been playing important role. This can be seen evidently with the increasing demand for highly qualified workforce in the industries as well as government aided organizations. The trend for going to universities for graduation and post-graduation has been increased steadily over the years, I believe this is a positive development for the country as well as for individual. This will be proven by analyzing the benefits of higher education to nation as well to individual in this essay.

Firstly, students who are qualified from universities will become either doctors, engineers, scientist or lawyers, one or the other way they all contribute to the betterment of the society. For example, in Indian space research organization scientist develop the communication satellite for the home country as well as they develop for neighboring countries which brings huge sum of money to the Indian economy, same way our engineers known for software application development bring lot of jobs from other countries and create jobs for the graduated students in the country, this way they fill huge sum of tax to the government and thereby increasing the Gross domestic product of the country, so we can safely say that the graduation brings benefits to the country, however, we cannot omit the profit which brings to individual also.

Adding to the above point, higher qualification means better chance of getting a graded jobs in reputed companies or government aided organizations, which means better facilities such as big bungalow, car, health insurance and other allowances by company expenditure. For example, our scientist and Indian administrative officers enjoy the government provided bungalows and commute by government provided car, this was they lead luxurious life in the society when compared to undergraduate workers.

In my opinion, having graduation degree one can get a better job, which leads to living a quality of life at the same time they are the one who contribute major portion of the gross domestic product.

you could have cut short the reasons why education has become easy to get. I mean, you said that due to better infrastructure and more universities do not require to mention.

Ideas like
- Help industry to get people with right skill
- Industry do not require to provide extensive training to fresh men and women coming from college.
- Individual - job possibility gets increased as he has proved record with degree and certificates.
- Could get edge over the people who do not hold that degree
- Individual get more money and therefore they can live with better standard of living.

Hello Friends,

Here is one more essay to grade, I am going way over in timings . But I am trying to work on my thinkingness at this point.

Part 2 - Children are often forced to do works and other stuffs according to their teachers and parents. Some people think that this may result in difficulty for the students to take their own decisions in future. Discuss about the views

There is an accumulation of research available to show various view points on inter-generational relationship.
Throughout the history it can be seen how elders are impacting younger's life. Many argued that old-generation should guide through the young ones for their career and other life decisions. However, this is refuted by others stating that such interference can make young generation inactive, irresponsible and indecisive. Both arguments will be discussed here before reaching to a well formed conclusion.

Old-generation has always acted as navigation radar for youth. Their Experiences and knowledge helps in leading children from childhood to adult hood. For Example, The chairman of Wipro Technologies, an Indian leading software company, has mentioned in his profile interview that how his school teacher inspired him and guided the path through a successful business tycoon. This shows the importance of effective guidance is needed to shape up a new life.

On the other hand, there are some examples where the existence has been suppressed and not permitted to experience what they desire in life due to the excessive control from their superior. For an instance, a very close friend of mine, I have seen, he look for his parents for every small decision in his life even the clothing he should wear or food he should consume. This seems a very pathetic control over human being.

Following these views, this is obvious that Today's youth highly requires an effective guidance and support in order to build a strong, positive and decision making attitude. At the same time, all this will be coming to our future age along with a power of choice