Deciding on what will a person want to gain through engaging in sports is for the individual to choose. Opting it as a career is a personal choice, other view sports as a form of recreation to maintain a stable health.
On one hand, it provides a better source of income to an athlete. Today, Major companies utilized the popularity of famous athletes to be their ambassadors of their products to draw people to purchase their goods, as a result, they are prepare to pay a huge sum amount for athletes to promote their materials, even though it will cost them an arm and a leg, but in the end it will negate the expenses of the corporation through raking large profits. Maria Sharapova, for instance is a premier tennis player, huge companies are fighting tooth and nail just to get her to advertise their product. Therefore, investing in sports to be their career have a great impact on their financial stability
On the other hand, it provides people to stay in an optimum health. Sports does not only provide leisure activity, but it also offers a healthy lifestyle to keep an individual's body like a well-oiled machine, keeping diseases at bay. In my own experience, i was once prone to illness due to may sedentary way of life, but after i regularly workout, i rarely got sick. It is clear from this reason that making sport as a form of maintaining a healthy lifestyle will have a great impact on reducing the chances of getting ill.
In conclusion, Both have a profound effects whether the individual choose it as a careers or a form of keeping the body health. As a matter of preference.I firmly believe that utilizing sports outweighs the financial stability because it provides direct positive outcome to ones well-being especially on health.
Writing Task 2! Need to get 7+band score
-
Dr.Matthew
- Posts: 61
- Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:11 am
- Contact:
Re: Writing Task 2! Need to get 7+band score
Hi , a reasonably good attempt, but perhaps not yet quite to a 7+ I am afraid (although close and with a generous examiner...if such a thing exists...you never never know!). Overall, the forms of your sentences are good and the content is also reasonable BUT as my highlights indicate there are just TOO many errors (both technical and in terms of standard usage). Again, I am happy to revise with tracked changes if you are happy for me to place on my website as an example, as I am building my site's resources 
. All best and perhaps, review and REWRITE. One of the BIG problems in terms of students' preparation is that they receive feedback and simply go onto the next topic without applying the discipline of REWRITING their revised essays. It's here that the beneficial learning will occur. So, please rewrite according to the suggested revisions.
Deciding on what will a person want to gain through engaging in sports is for the individual to choose. Opting it as a career is a personal choice, other view sports as a form of recreation to maintain a stable health.
On one hand, it provides a better source of income to an athlete. Today, Major companies utilized the popularity of famous athletes to be their ambassadors of their products to draw people to purchase their goods, as a result, they are prepare to pay a huge sum amount for athletes to promote their materials, even though it will cost them an arm and a leg, but in the end it will negate the expenses of the corporation through raking large profits. Maria Sharapova, for instance is a premier tennis player, huge companies are fighting tooth and nail just to get her to advertise their product. Therefore, investing in sports to be their career have a great impact on their financial stability [their = who???]
On the other hand, it provides people to stay in an optimum health. Sports does not only provide leisure activity, but it also offers a healthy lifestyle to keep an individual's body like a well-oiled machine, keeping diseases at bay. In my own experience, i was once prone to illness due to may sedentary way of life, but after i regularly workout, i rarely got sick. It is clear from this reason that making sport as a form of maintaining a healthy lifestyle will have a great impact on reducing the chances of getting ill.
In conclusion, Both have a profound effects whether the individual choose it as a careers or a form of keeping the body health. As a matter of preference.I firmly believe that utilizing sports outweighs the financial stability because it provides direct positive outcome to ones well-being especially on health.
. All best and perhaps, review and REWRITE. One of the BIG problems in terms of students' preparation is that they receive feedback and simply go onto the next topic without applying the discipline of REWRITING their revised essays. It's here that the beneficial learning will occur. So, please rewrite according to the suggested revisions.Deciding on what will a person want to gain through engaging in sports is for the individual to choose. Opting it as a career is a personal choice, other view sports as a form of recreation to maintain a stable health.
On one hand, it provides a better source of income to an athlete. Today, Major companies utilized the popularity of famous athletes to be their ambassadors of their products to draw people to purchase their goods, as a result, they are prepare to pay a huge sum amount for athletes to promote their materials, even though it will cost them an arm and a leg, but in the end it will negate the expenses of the corporation through raking large profits. Maria Sharapova, for instance is a premier tennis player, huge companies are fighting tooth and nail just to get her to advertise their product. Therefore, investing in sports to be their career have a great impact on their financial stability [their = who???]
On the other hand, it provides people to stay in an optimum health. Sports does not only provide leisure activity, but it also offers a healthy lifestyle to keep an individual's body like a well-oiled machine, keeping diseases at bay. In my own experience, i was once prone to illness due to may sedentary way of life, but after i regularly workout, i rarely got sick. It is clear from this reason that making sport as a form of maintaining a healthy lifestyle will have a great impact on reducing the chances of getting ill.
In conclusion, Both have a profound effects whether the individual choose it as a careers or a form of keeping the body health. As a matter of preference.I firmly believe that utilizing sports outweighs the financial stability because it provides direct positive outcome to ones well-being especially on health.