the view is whether universities should receive the same number of males and females in each subject agree or disagree
With the significant alteration in education and social value appeared, Some people appealed to receive the equal number of males and females in each subjects in universities. This essay will analyse this point of view.
This method is able to bring lots of advantages both to the individuals and the pub particularly in the social opportunities not only in high education but also in finding jobs. By this means the bias exsist in the companies and government will disappear since they have no choice but seeing everyone equally, though males have the priority in logical ability and physical power。 As a result, the resources of human are more likely to allocate evenly.
Even if this measure contributes a lot to social equality, it sees more deficiency than priority, On the one hand, there are different preference in major for men and women, forcing both of them to learn civil engineering is just waste of resource ,on the other hand, the more important is that this way can not utilize far the advantage which is different in terms of gender. For instance, women are excelled at communicating and negotiating with the business partners while men are brilliant in logic and technology. It is obvious that accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject will damage the current education system which has achieved a balance in students , facilities and othear available resource.
Consequently, universities should distribute the resource in a more productive way rather than arranging them evenly.
Please evaluate this essay Academic writing --TASK 2
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Dr.Matthew
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Re: Please evaluate this essay Academic writing --TASK 2
A quick review for you...from a glance it looks like some of the issues from the Task 1 are present here also...plurals, for example...the missing "s"!!! How to overcome this? Well, of course simply asking yourself is the noun singular or plural in number is always a good starting point 
And, remember, uncountable nouns are, well, uncountable...and cannot be plural (in most circumstances!). If this doesn't work, my advice is very very simple...ALWAYS leave time to review your essay...in this time,
1. read and check for those COMMON mistakes or those mistakes your tutor/mentor has already drawn your attention to, such as:
*missing articles
*plurals
*weak language choices (like/some/a lot of/people etc)
*subject/verb & pronoun/antecedent agreement problems
*excessively LONG sentences
2. try and read out aloud softly to yourself...this is often the BEST way to identify grammatical mistakes, convoluted syntax and long, unwieldy sentences....
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With the significant alteration in education and social value
Even if this measure contributes a lot to social equality, it sees more deficiency than priority,
Consequently, universities should distribute the resource[s] in a more productive way rather than arranging them evenly.
And, remember, uncountable nouns are, well, uncountable...and cannot be plural (in most circumstances!). If this doesn't work, my advice is very very simple...ALWAYS leave time to review your essay...in this time, 1. read and check for those COMMON mistakes or those mistakes your tutor/mentor has already drawn your attention to, such as:
*missing articles
*plurals
*weak language choices (like/some/a lot of/people etc)
*subject/verb & pronoun/antecedent agreement problems
*excessively LONG sentences
2. try and read out aloud softly to yourself...this is often the BEST way to identify grammatical mistakes, convoluted syntax and long, unwieldy sentences....
******************************************************************************
With the significant alteration in education and social value
people appealed to receive the equal number of males and females in each subjects in universities. This essay will analyse this point of view.appeared, Some
This method is able to bring lots of advantages both to the individuals and the pub particularly in the social opportunities not only in high education but also in finding jobs. By this means the bias [that exists]exsist in the companies and government will disappear since they have no choice but [to] see[delete: ing] everyone equally, though males have the priority in logical ability and physical powerpersonally, I like this type of sentence, but I like it MORE when the author SPECIFIES his/her thesis or contention AND the reasons for this point of view!
。 As a result, the resources of human are more likely to [insert: be] allocate[d] evenly.omg!!!!!!! I would STRONGLY advise you to revisit this idea
Even if this measure contributes a lot to social equality, it sees more deficiency than priority,
On the one hand, there are different preference[s] in major for men and women[.] [F]orcing both of them to learn civil engineering is just waste of resource[s]this punctuation sign MUST be a full stop/period [.]
[;]on the other hand, [delete: the] more important is that this way can not utilize [delete: far] the advantage which is different in terms of gender. For instance, women are excellent[d] at communicating and negotiating with the business partners while men are brilliant in logic and technologyimo, too strong a point of view
. It is obvious that [insert: to] accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject will damage the current education system which has achieved a balance in students , facilities and othear available resource[s].almost a PERFECT sentence, but, again, the sentiments are probably not going to impress an examiner
Consequently, universities should distribute the resource[s] in a more productive way rather than arranging them evenly.