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Writing Task 1 (please help me)

Posted: Mon May 11, 2015 4:42 pm
by zrahamani
The graph below describes prices of housing in some town in 2005.

The graph compares amount of money spent on housing in different town in 2005. It can be clearly seen, that the price of new houses on market start selling from 340 thousands US $ in July of 2005. Whereas for old houses the price was 300 thousands US $. As the month went price (328 thousands US $) is declining for new houses in August but the value of old houses was increased to 305 thousands US $. In September the value of old houses suddenly failed to 290 thousands US $. At the same time the price for new houses was declined to 320 thousand US $. In October value of new houses was climbed to 330 thousand US $. However for old houses there was a steady state level in price (still 290 thousand US $).

As we move to month of November price for old houses was increased sharply to (305 thousand US $). Again for new houses price was felled sharply to 310 thousand US $. In December the price for new houses was still decreasing (305 thousand US $), but for old houses it was raising to 308 thousand US $.

To sum the price of both new houses and old houses were fluctuated very much over the time period.

Re: Writing Task 1 (please help me)

Posted: Tue May 12, 2015 8:34 pm
by OnlineEnglishTeacher
There are a lot of things that could be improved and this was not a high grade, currently.

The graph below describes prices of housing in ("Some Town") some town in 2005.

The graph compares ("the") amount of money spent on housing in different (?) town in 2005. It can be clearly seen, that the price of new houses on ("the") market ("started") start selling from ("$340,000") 340 thousands US $ in July of 2005. ("However,")Whereas for old houses the price was ("$300,000") 300 thousands US $. As the month went ("on the"?) price (("$328,000") 328 thousands US $) is declining for new houses in August but the value of old houses (no "was") was increased to ("$305,000") 305 thousands US $. In September the value of old houses suddenly ("fell") failed to ("$290,000") 290 thousands US $. At the same time the price for new houses (no "was") was declined to ("$320,000") 320 thousand US $. In October ("the") value of new houses (no "was") was climbed to ("$330,000") 330 thousand US $. However for old houses there was a steady state level in price (still ("$290,000") 290 thousand US $).

As we move to ("the") month of November ("prices") price for old houses (no "was") was increased sharply to (("$305,000") 305 thousand US $). Again for new houses ("the") price ("fell") was felled sharply to (("$310,00") 310 thousand US $. In December the price for new houses was still decreasing (("$305,000") 305 thousand US $), but for old houses it ("rose") was raising to ("308,000") 308 thousand US $.

To sum ("up,") the price of both new houses and old houses (no "were") were fluctuated very much over the time period.