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Please evaluate my writing and tell we what ban could i get?

Posted: Tue May 19, 2015 10:59 am
by b_arani
As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Nowadays due to the modern lifestyles people tend to use their cars much more than ever. Unfortunately, this poses risk to environment. This has been seen especially in mega-cities. It is believed that the most important ways to reduce this problem is through people awareness and sufficient public transportation.

Damages that can pose to environment because of over usage of cars are undeniable.For instance, in mega-cities like New York the rate of people ho suffers from respiratory problem is two times more than people who are living in the countrysides. By raising people awareness through internet or television commercials, can help to tackle this major environmental issue.As a result people tend to use their cars less than before only because they are aware of the negative influence that it could pose to their life. Thus the link between people awareness and reducing in private car usage is clear.


Furthermore, people prefer to use their private cars only because its more easier. However, with a sufficient public transportation which is cheaper and faster they can actually start using it. Take Melbourne for example, due to an efficient tramp and sub way more than half of residence tend to use public transportation than private cars. Thus, the rate of air pollution is much lower than other part of the country. So the positive correlation between sufficient transportation and prevention of air pollution due to private car usage is obvious.


Following the look at the most important solutions to tackle environmental pollution as a result of over usage of private cars it is clear that how people can contribute. It is predicted that these will be the world over action.

Re: Please evaluate my writing and tell we what ban could i get?

Posted: Mon May 25, 2015 8:49 pm
by Flick
b_arani wrote:As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Nowadays due to the modern lifestyles, people tend to use their cars more than ever. Unfortunately, this poses a risk to the environment. This has been seen especially in mega-cities. It is believed that the most important ways to reduce this problem is through public awareness and sufficient public transportation.

Damages that can pose to environment because of over usage of cars are undeniable.(<--Reword to: "Damage to the environment due to the over-use of cars is undeniable.") For instance, in mega-cities like New York, the number of people who suffer from respiratory problems is two times more than people who are living in the countryside. Raising awareness through internet or television commercials can help to tackle this major environmental issue. As a result, people tend to use their cars less than before only because they are aware of the negative influence that it could pose to their life.(<--Reword to: "As people become more aware of the negative influence using private transportation has on the environment, they will be less likely to use their cars.") Thus the link between public awareness and reducing private car usage is clear.


Furthermore, people prefer to use their private cars only because it is convenient. However, with sufficient public transportation, which is cheaper and faster, they are more likely to use it. Take Melbourne for example. Due to an efficient tram and subway system more than half of residents tend to use public transportation rathern than private cars. Thus, the rate of air pollution is much lower than other parts of the country. So the positive correlation between sufficient transportation and prevention of air pollution due to private car usage is obvious.


Following this look at the most important solutions to tackle environmental pollution as a result of over usage of private cars, it is clear how people can contribute. It is predicted that these solutions will be adopted world wide.