Please evaluate my first essay

[tuananhchau]

Questions: Illiteracy has traditionally been view as largely as a third world problem. However, it is becoming apparent that in countries such as the USA and Australia, illiteracy is on the increase. Discuss possible cause for this and its effect on society.

It is generally accepted that education is one important factor for the world’s develpment and for the sake of happiness of individuals. Nevertheless, illiteracy is one unavoidable problem which has prominently occurred in many countries, even in powered countries such as United State or Britain.This might lead to unpredictable effects on our socitey if we don’t find the root causes.

Illiteracy can be caused by many reasons. Firstly, due to the past notion which might be seen as unavailable in developed countries, gendered racism is an unescapable problem which sparks the gap between both genders’educational background. For instance, people now usually still have a misconception that boys’ further education is way more vital than girls’, girls are ignored and imposed on with many restrictions. Secondly, due to the advances in techical aspects, technology can easily be used without any attemp which causes people’s dependence on the convenience of hi-tech without studying especially kids.

Illiteracy also has bad effects on the society. Firstly, the worst effect should be considered is unemployment due to lack of educational basic levels which might lead to many problems such as housing shortages or criminals. Secondly, owing to low education, drug abuse has greatly increased. Added in more, the world’s economy will also be at stakes and there might be a stunning decline in quality of life because of the lack of education which is highly required in work.

In conclusion,illiteracy is one specific problem which needs collaboration between nations to address this problem orelse it will lead to unpredictable disasters or several crisises.



This is my first time taking ielts writting task 2. It is undoubted that there are lots of gramatical mistakes and my volcabulary is unvariable so I would be highly appreciated if you guys would point them out for me.

[Flick]

Questions: Illiteracy has traditionally been view as largely as a third world problem. However, it is becoming apparent that in countries such as the USA and Australia, illiteracy is on the increase. Discuss possible cause for this and its effect on society.

It is generally accepted that education is one important factor for the world’s develpment and for the sake of happiness of individuals. Nevertheless, illiteracy is one unavoidable problem which has prominently occurred in many countries, even in rich countries such as the United States and Britain. This might lead to unpredictable effects on our socitey if we don’t find the root causes.

Illiteracy is caused by many reasons. Firstly, due to the past notion which might be seen as irrelevant in developed countries, gendered racism is an inescapable problem which sparks the gap between both genders’ educational background. For instance, people still have a misconception that boys’ education is more vital than girls’, and so girls are ignored and imposed on with many restrictions. Secondly, due to the advances in techical aspects, technology can easily be used without deeper understanding, which causes people’s dependence on the convenience of hi-tech without studying; especially children.

Illiteracy also has bad effects on the society. Firstly, the worst effect is unemployment due to lack of basic educational levels, which might lead to many problems such as housing shortages or criminal activity. Secondly, owing to poor education, drug abuse has greatly increased. In addition, the world’s economy will also be affected and there might be a sharp decline in quality of life because of the lack of education which is essential for work.

In conclusion, illiteracy needs collaboration between nations to address this problem, or else it will lead to unpredictable disasters or crises.