Please Critique My Essay
Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2015 4:23 pm
Hello,
I will be sitting Academic IELTS on the 27th of June. Please I need as much especially in writing task 2. Could you please check my essay?
My target band is 7 and I prefer using simple words though I have varied vocabulary knowledge.
Question: A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The relationship between humans and animals can be complex. Both natural beings can be considered dependent on each other in many ways. With regard to this, there is an argument which states that animals should be treated like how human beings are treated, while other argue that their sole purpose is to satisfy our needs. In my opinion, I agree to both statements and this essay will discuss how their existence and purposes affect our lives within this context.
On the one hand, many animals serve as domestic companion to people. Take dogs and cats, for example. These animals are adored by many people because they resonate human behavior in a way. Furthermore, the joy people get from these animals are numerous because they show loyalty and compassion to people. This is the main reason why many individuals agree that they should be treated equally as humans.
On the other hand, there are other animals which serve different uses. Some animals such as mice were used in experiments. They are very helpful in discovering drugs such as vaccines which are used in preventing fatal diseases. Aside from that, other animals are used as food products like pig, cow and chicken. For thousands of years, they provide a sustained life to people by giving us proper nutrition. These animals are not commonly used as pets because they act differently compared to dogs and cats.
In summary, the ultimate purpose of animals are to make the life of the population better. It is our responsibility to take care of them and use their purpose with dignity. It may be unfair to some to treat different animals accordingly, however, I believe in order for us to survive, we have to follow this circle of life.
293 words – 34 minutes
I will be sitting Academic IELTS on the 27th of June. Please I need as much especially in writing task 2. Could you please check my essay?
My target band is 7 and I prefer using simple words though I have varied vocabulary knowledge.
Question: A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The relationship between humans and animals can be complex. Both natural beings can be considered dependent on each other in many ways. With regard to this, there is an argument which states that animals should be treated like how human beings are treated, while other argue that their sole purpose is to satisfy our needs. In my opinion, I agree to both statements and this essay will discuss how their existence and purposes affect our lives within this context.
On the one hand, many animals serve as domestic companion to people. Take dogs and cats, for example. These animals are adored by many people because they resonate human behavior in a way. Furthermore, the joy people get from these animals are numerous because they show loyalty and compassion to people. This is the main reason why many individuals agree that they should be treated equally as humans.
On the other hand, there are other animals which serve different uses. Some animals such as mice were used in experiments. They are very helpful in discovering drugs such as vaccines which are used in preventing fatal diseases. Aside from that, other animals are used as food products like pig, cow and chicken. For thousands of years, they provide a sustained life to people by giving us proper nutrition. These animals are not commonly used as pets because they act differently compared to dogs and cats.
In summary, the ultimate purpose of animals are to make the life of the population better. It is our responsibility to take care of them and use their purpose with dignity. It may be unfair to some to treat different animals accordingly, however, I believe in order for us to survive, we have to follow this circle of life.
293 words – 34 minutes