GT task 1 .... PLEASE EVALUATE THE TASk..

[faruk079]

You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer.
Write a letter to the Manager.
In your letter
• say what experience you have
• ask what the work involves
• enquire about conditions

Answer:
Dear Sir,
My name is Faruqe Ahmed, studying in Hotel Management department of Dhaka University. I am writing this letter to apply for a job as to which I came to know from the advertisement. Please allow me to describe regarding my previous part time work experiences.
On par with your job, previously, I have successfully accomplished other part time jobs during my summer and winter vacation while reading in Dhaka University. The work experience as a waiter in Lavista and Londonas restaurants makes me a perfect applicant for this job. Moreover, my summer vacation is going to be started from 15th June, 2015 and will last till 15th August, 2015 which is the correct timing.
However, would you please tell me what are the designation, the job responsibilities as well as salary structure? It would assist me to equip myself for attending the interview. I would be grateful to you if you could acknowledge me about any other terms and conditions of your company.
My CV and experience certificates are attached herewith. I am awaiting your reply.
Yours sincerely
Faruqe Ahmed

[terry3218]

You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer.
Write a letter to the Manager.
In your letter
• say what experience you have
• ask what the work involves
• enquire about conditions

Answer:
Dear Sir,
My name is Faruqe Ahmed, studying in Hotel Management department of Dhaka University. I am writing this letter to apply for a job as to which I came to know from the advertisement. Please allow me to describe regarding my previous part time work experiences.
On par with your job, previously, I have successfully accomplished other part time jobs during my summer and winter vacation while reading (studying) in Dhaka University. The work experience(s) as a waiter in Lavista and Londonas restaurants makes(make) me a perfect applicant for this job. Moreover, my summer vacation is going to be startstarted from 15th June, 2015 and will last till 15th August, 2015 which is the correct timing.
However, would you please tell me what are the designation, the job responsibilities as well as salary structure? It would assist me to equip myself for attending the interview. I would be grateful to you if you could acknowledge me about any other terms and conditions of your company.
My CV and experience certificates are attached herewith. I am awaiting your reply.
Yours sincerely
Faruqe Ahmed

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And I'm not quite sure about using your name in the beginning of the letter since you're gonna use it in the end anyways, but that's just me and my unqualified opinion.

[faruk079]

Thank you for your comment.

[faruk079]

Would you please predict the possible band score and give me advice to write more satisfactorily?