Need a proofreading, great thanks
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2015 6:24 pm
Could anyone proofread this essay for me please, great appreciate 
Nowadays, more and more people use credit cards. It seems that cash and coins will be replaced by credit cards in future. Is this a positive or negative trend?
These days, the popularity of credit card uses is increasing, thus many believe that such a plastic card would soon replace paper money and coins. Personally, I accept that credit cards bring convenience to individuals, while I believe this phenomenon is, overall, an unfavorable development because credit cards cause many problems to card holders in finance and account security.
Admittedly, people`s lives are facilitated by using credit cards. Unlike their counterparts in previous time, people in modern society no longer need to carry actual money but a small plastic card for traveling or shopping. In addition, when they are in an emergency, for example experiencing a financial constraint, they could withdraw extra amount of money from their credit card accounts to overcome the hardship.
Nevertheless, using credit cards would raise a risk of increasing the card holders` financial burden. the holders could use extra amount of money than the actual amount in their accounts. With this privilege, some individuals, especially the ones who are lack of self-control ability, use their credit cards recklessly. As a result, they would be struggled in a great debt that is far beyond their affordability, which would never happen to people who only use actual money.
Furthermore, insecurity would be another problem that credit card users have to deal with. Credit cards have been a widely accepted means of payment for many commercial activities like on-line shopping or holiday booking. This offers a great opportunity for cyber criminals to hack into the card holders` accounts and obtain their personal details without even being noticed by them. Consequently, these law breakers could use the obtained information to steal money from the hacked accounts or for other illegal activities.
In conclusion, while credit card users enjoy the convenience of using credit cards, they are under significant risks of involving many troubles. For this reason, I believe that replacing paper money and coins with credit cards is generally a negative trend.
Nowadays, more and more people use credit cards. It seems that cash and coins will be replaced by credit cards in future. Is this a positive or negative trend?
These days, the popularity of credit card uses is increasing, thus many believe that such a plastic card would soon replace paper money and coins. Personally, I accept that credit cards bring convenience to individuals, while I believe this phenomenon is, overall, an unfavorable development because credit cards cause many problems to card holders in finance and account security.
Admittedly, people`s lives are facilitated by using credit cards. Unlike their counterparts in previous time, people in modern society no longer need to carry actual money but a small plastic card for traveling or shopping. In addition, when they are in an emergency, for example experiencing a financial constraint, they could withdraw extra amount of money from their credit card accounts to overcome the hardship.
Nevertheless, using credit cards would raise a risk of increasing the card holders` financial burden. the holders could use extra amount of money than the actual amount in their accounts. With this privilege, some individuals, especially the ones who are lack of self-control ability, use their credit cards recklessly. As a result, they would be struggled in a great debt that is far beyond their affordability, which would never happen to people who only use actual money.
Furthermore, insecurity would be another problem that credit card users have to deal with. Credit cards have been a widely accepted means of payment for many commercial activities like on-line shopping or holiday booking. This offers a great opportunity for cyber criminals to hack into the card holders` accounts and obtain their personal details without even being noticed by them. Consequently, these law breakers could use the obtained information to steal money from the hacked accounts or for other illegal activities.
In conclusion, while credit card users enjoy the convenience of using credit cards, they are under significant risks of involving many troubles. For this reason, I believe that replacing paper money and coins with credit cards is generally a negative trend.