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Task 2 - "A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions"

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 9:10 pm
by dlima
Hey guys! Here is my text, and the persons whom avaliate it can post your text over the comments that I promisse that I'll do the same thing! Thank you. :mrgreen:

"A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? "


It is normal to see people being judge by what they have and not by Who they really are. This sad reality has, of course, explanations. It’s based on the kind of economic system that we are on and the way people face it.

The economic capitalist model ditates, in a simplistic way, that you have to have money to consume things (or have things). Following this statement, poor people will not have a lot of things, this is clear. Another thing ditated by capitalism is that your goal of life is to acumulate money so you can enjoy your life with confort, safetym luxury, happiness, and so on. Of course that most people believe in those rules (that’s one reason to it be our economic system ), and the first thing that comes with it is: Judgment, inequality and a lot of sad social trues – That are worst in development countries.

Another thing that strength this behaviour is the big exposion o four lives on the internet. Social networks shows that clearly. People Who take pictures on beautifull places, Who seem to be famous or rich have more “folower” or “friends”. Nowadays, we feel that we have to take pictures to posto n facebook, not that wanting of take pictures Just to Record important moments to ourselves. Of course that not all the people are like this, but the status culture is really common, mostly by Young people.

You Just have to open your facebook or read about capitalism and you Will see that judging people by social status and material things is a famous way to mesure the worth of anyone. We should be less capitalist, and less conected. We should give importance to the things that matter most: Our humanity.

Re: Task 2 - "A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions"

Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 1:44 am
by jesus
well, i have few suggestions.

1. Please include few strong examples to support your ideas on supporting paragraph.

2.your few sentences seems ambiguous; write short and precise sentences.

3.Because it does not sound academic, try to avoid personal pronouns, such as we, i, you, etc.

Re: Task 2 - "A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions"

Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 6:56 am
by Gelever
Hi!
Take my advice, do the Ryan's free lessons first!
Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=P ... DDF7F19843
After that you'll see how your writing improves.
Yes, it'll take some time (depending on how much time you are ready to dedicate to this per day), but be sure - it's worth it! Almost everybody who writes here has taken the Ryan's' course. I'm still stuck on Section 3, though.
Good luck! ;)

Re: Task 2 - "A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions"

Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 7:27 am
by aurora_vietnamita
*simple words, sentences
sad=>sorrowful
poor people will not have a lot of things, this is clear. =>there is no doubt the poor have to struggle for different expenses and insufficient life.
*You Just have to open your facebook=> fb is a useful tool for more information...
*u dont give your opinion in the open
*dont put ()
*judgement=> discrimination