Please, check it " Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society?"

[leviethoa98]

Speech is the most useful way for people to express their convictions, to claim for their opinions, to hold their believes . However, sometime, the method of some intense people makes other people feel aggressive and its disadvantages can not be controlled.
On one hand, in social media, a few people with their moral decay always argue some sensitive topics relating not only to the other people but also to policy, government. Their free speech with its negative words can depress and harm to those main figures and they will become some gossips which can widespread directly and incredibly. For instance, in some Asian countries, people with their bias, their cultures can be influenced firmly because of the other’s comments. Some Asian students after being teasing by their classmates on Facebook are overwhelmed and sorrow, which lead them to suicide. Moreover, in some pages which are generated to oppose their governments’method, many individuals use it with their own purposes to attract the members to follow their groups with the cruel aims.
On the other hand, in some cases, without freedom of speech, it seems that the governments can not tackle the severe problems easily. If citizens can not express their opinions to convince the governments to change their methods, their countries can not improve and promote not only their industry but also the other fields.
In summary, whereas the merits of free speech can provide many authorities for citizens, the domination of its awful effect can experience obviously, which will harm to both themselves and the society.Therefore, my individual opinion is as same as some governments creating their rules to avoid the excessive speech of their citizens.

[tuananhchau]

hi, I have one suggestion:
in the first sentence of the conclusion, it would be better if you wrote ' while' instead of whereas

[leviethoa98]

Thanks for your advice ) Can you consider my essay meticulously and give me more suggestions ? And what is the band score for this essay ? Thanks you for all