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Please check my essay task 2

Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 6:59 pm
by Qaiser ameer
Q:Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way....To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?



International sports events like football and cricket world cups are getting popular all over the world.People like to watch almost every match of these championships .It is believed that such international sporting events play an important role in decreasing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.This will be proven by analyzing how such sporting events facilitate the interactions between different nations and how their desires to succeed strengthen their patriotic emotions.
Firstly,international sporting championships,provide a chance to meet,play and interact with the players of various countries.For example,fourteen nations participated in the cricket world cup which held in Australia ,a few months ago.Each country's team played matches with almost seven to eight teams of other countries.Hence,they developed better relationships by communicating and playing cricket with each other.Thus,the benefits of international sporting competitions in easing international tensions and developing better international relationships can be seen.
Moreover,citizens of each country want that their team may succeed in every match and eventually may become the world champion in that particular game.They spend most of their times on keenly observing their team matches.They point out the deficiencies of their team and suggest valuable suggestions to overcome those problems so their team may come out with flying colors in that tournament.Thus,these sporting occasions not only enhance but provide a chance to release the patriotic emotions in a peaceful way to the supporters of different teams.This makes clear that such international sporting competitions play a positive role in expressing the patriotic emotions in a safe and better way.
After analyzing,how international sporting events increase interactions between different nations and provide safe ways to express patriotic emotions ,the beneficial effects of such sporting occasions can be seen with clarity.It is hoped that such sporting competitions would be more useful in future in resolving major conflicts among rival nations.

Re: Please check my essay task 2

Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2015 7:53 pm
by Gelever
Hi, Qaiser ameer!
A very well-structured essay.
However, the main ideas are a little bit vague.
Take my advice - be specific.
Show some details that prove the idea of beneficial role of international events in lessen tensions among nations.
For example, forcing players to shake hands before a match (the World Cup in soccer), playing national anthems before a match (the Olympic Games), fair-play rules (the Champion League), etc. It's easy to show that people who are trained to respect the rival in sport will do the same in real life!
With all the best! ;)