Please evaluate my IELTS Writing
Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2015 9:42 am
Hello! I will take IELTS (Academic) exam and it will be a big help if you can give me feedback on my work or give me a possible score for this. Thanks a lot!
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree?
In some countries, there is an equal distribution of both gender types in every course in the tertiary level of education. However, it is not necessary to require this similar gender ratio because of some drawbacks. I feel that that the admission of students in every course should be regardless of any gender and need not be equal.
Based on the census, there is a greater proportion of men than women in most countries which makes the claim unrealistic. There will be difficulty in meeting the required number of students because of the disproportion on the gender ratio.
We should also consider the fact that some courses are suitable to a specific gender. For instance, jobs that demand physical strength are associated with men like carpentry while nursing courses tend to attract more women.
It is also unfair to base the selection of students on gender. Universities should accept students according to their academic qualifications. In this way, there will be equal opportunities for both genders and the right to pursue their preferred careers.
However, some experts believe that the claim creates an environment of diversity which can result to productive ideas. As a matter of fact, some companies maintain a ratio of gender diversity because it is proved by research to produce favorable results in work places.
I believe that it is not realistic to have equal distribution of both gender types in every course. Some courses are specific to a gender type and the admission to a university should be according to a student's academic qualifications.
Your feedback will be greatly appreciated.
Could you give me a possible score for this? Is my essay short?
Thanks!
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree?
In some countries, there is an equal distribution of both gender types in every course in the tertiary level of education. However, it is not necessary to require this similar gender ratio because of some drawbacks. I feel that that the admission of students in every course should be regardless of any gender and need not be equal.
Based on the census, there is a greater proportion of men than women in most countries which makes the claim unrealistic. There will be difficulty in meeting the required number of students because of the disproportion on the gender ratio.
We should also consider the fact that some courses are suitable to a specific gender. For instance, jobs that demand physical strength are associated with men like carpentry while nursing courses tend to attract more women.
It is also unfair to base the selection of students on gender. Universities should accept students according to their academic qualifications. In this way, there will be equal opportunities for both genders and the right to pursue their preferred careers.
However, some experts believe that the claim creates an environment of diversity which can result to productive ideas. As a matter of fact, some companies maintain a ratio of gender diversity because it is proved by research to produce favorable results in work places.
I believe that it is not realistic to have equal distribution of both gender types in every course. Some courses are specific to a gender type and the admission to a university should be according to a student's academic qualifications.
Your feedback will be greatly appreciated.
Could you give me a possible score for this? Is my essay short?
Thanks!