Please review my GT writing and provide me the score

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vallerib
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 10:59 am

Please review my GT writing and provide me the score

Post by vallerib »

Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents in their performance at school while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child.
Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school?
What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education?


Now a days, few kids are being grilled by their energetic parents which is deteriorating the child’s performance at school. At the same time, some kids are left free without much interruption from their mother and father. I personally think that predetermined mind of parents regarding the child’s future and education is adding too much of anxiety, so that they pressurize kids to perform better than others.

Firstly, there is lot of competition in the present world, in order to sustain with that competition children has to achieve a lot by reading books, doing exercises and moreover they have to learn different techniques. To stay ahead in the competition parents force their younger ones to learn those techniques blindly without explaining what those techniques are.

Secondly, the child’s education also became a status symbol in the society. For example in my country, engineering study and medical study is a social status symbol. If anyone is not an engineering graduate or not a medical student he is deemed to be a worthless candidate and their parents are failure parents. Another point to mention is that, now a days, parents are predetermining their minds that their child should choose a particular profession before he/she is born. Interesting factor in my country is that, there are few parents who force their kids to prepare for a common entrance test for their graduation at the age of 10.

However, in my opinion, parents should be like an enablers to the child’s achievements in schools by identifying the hidden talents and encouraging them. They should honor the child’s vision and mission.

In conclusion, no doubt that every parent is worried about their children future, but they should give importance to their child’s interests and beliefs.
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Flick
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Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Please review my GT writing and provide me the score

Post by Flick »

vallerib wrote:Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents in their performance at school while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child.
Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school?
What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child’s education?


Nowadays, few kids are being grilled by their energetic parents which is deteriorating the child’s performance at school.(<--Reword to: "Nowadays, many children are heavily pressured by their parents to do well at school, which sometimes has a detrimental effect on their performance.") At the same time, some kids are left free without much interruption from their mother and father.(<--Reword to: "At the same time, other children are left with little to no guidance from their parents, which can also have a negative impact.") I personally think that predetermined mind of parents regarding the child’s future and education is adding too much of anxiety, so that they pressurize kids to perform better than others.(<--Reword to: "I personally think that parents who put too much pressure on their children to perform can cause anxiety and a drop in academic achievement.")

Firstly, there is lot of competition in the world. In order to keep up with that competition, children have to read books, do exercises and learn different techniques. To stay ahead in the competition, parents force their children to learn those techniques blindly without explaining what those techniques are.

Secondly, the child’s education also becomes a status symbol in society. For example in my country, working in engineering or medicine is a social status symbol. If someone is not an engineering graduate or a medical student he is deemed to be worthless and his parents are failures. Another point to mention is that, nowadays, parents are predetermining their children's careers before they are even born. An interesting factor in my country is that there are few parents who force their kids to prepare for a common entrance test for their graduation at the age of 10.

However, in my opinion, parents should act as enablers to the child’s achievements in school by identifying their hidden talents and encouraging them. They should honor the child’s vision and mission.

In conclusion, no doubt that every parent is worried about their children's future, but they should give importance to their child’s interests and beliefs.
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