writing task 2... could someone please give me any feedback? thanks so much

[victoria22]

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?


Although it is well-known that fast food contains a lot of fat and sugar it doesn’t stop people all over the world from loving McDonald’s, KFC and Starbucks. As the doctors become more and more concerned with such consequences of consuming unhealthy food on a daily basis as obesity, diabetes, heart condition and gastriris, the government struggles to improve the situation and stop the deterioration of health in the population.
In my opinion, if the fast food had a higher price it would probably become less popular. People who care about the family budget might change their habits and turn to cooking at home. Also, we wouldn’t be able to justify eating unhealthy food anymore by saying that it’s cheap. The money received from taxes could be spent on the needs of the healthcare and educational programs for children aimed at preventing the development of bad eating habits.
It seems to me, however, that the tax increase alone can’t solve the problem. In developed countries there are many people with stable income for whom the increase in prices would be simply insufficient. Moreover, children aren’t responsible enough to care about how much their favorite food costs. It is possible they would just try to reduce the amount of money they spend on different needs. But what is more important, some artificial components of fast food make it taste so well that it’s hard to go back to regular food. There is advertisement everywhere and people don’t notice that they are already dependent.
In conclusion, the problem looks complex and therefore needs to be approached from different angles.Raising a tax on fast food is only one of many steps that should be taken by the government.