IELTS Academic Module Task 1 Response

[Sarvesh]

Hi There
Following is a response for the attached pie charts.
Feedback on estimated band score and writing improvements wiill be highly appreciated.




Kind Regards
Sarvesh



The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.






The pie charts illustrate the yearly revenue and expenditures of a children`s charity located in the USA.

According to charts, donated food accounted for the majority of the revenue, whereas Program Services brought in most of the expenditure. It is also noticeable that total income slightly exceeded total expense.

To begin with, Donated Food constituted most of the revenue for charity, at 86.6%. This was far higher than the combined income of Community Contributions and Program revenue (12.6 %). Investment Income, Government Grants and Other Income were very small areas of inflow for charity, all making up 0.8 % in total.

With respect to expenditure, Program Services shared the largest proportion of the total spending, at 95%, while Fundraising and Management and General were the lowest expenditure categories for charity, accounting for 2.6% and 1.6 % of the total budget.

Finally, the figure of total inflow (53, 561, and 580) was sufficient for charity to recover its total outflow (53,224,896).

(163 words)

[Ryan]

Hi Sarvesh,

I think you capture the charts quite well in your writing. Let me suggest a few quick ways to improve:

1. Regarding structure, I think your comment on revenue sources being almost completely negated by the expenditures should have been placed in the first sentence as part of the broad comment on the data. Your response may further read with greater clarity if you commit one paragraph to describing the first chart and a second paragraph to describing the second chart (comparison could be made between the two at key areas in each paragraph).

2. There are several articles missing from the piece. (i.e "the charity")

3. "53, 561, and 580" is incorrect. At first, I thought you were listing something.

4. Be consistent with your capital letters. In some areas, you capitalize the items that appear in the charts. In other areas you don't.

I was impressed by your use of commas in the piece. I think you frame your ideas well with them.

I would imagine this would score about a band 7 on the exam.