Please check my essay!

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
Wayfarer
Posts: 22
Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2015 3:04 pm

Please check my essay!

Post by Wayfarer »

Topic: It is time to take environmental protection under control. Do you agree?

Among many threatening issues the earth has experienced so far, pollution has invariably been one of the most global and serious ones. However, the actions people take are totally incongruent to massiveness of this obstacle. Therefore, it is totally agreed that the process of tackling this problem must begin urgently. This will be proven by analyzing the consequences the halt of addressing this problem may have and the estimation that it will be too late if we reserve it for future.
First factor contributing to the necessity to start solving problem in current time is the frightening outcome of environmental pollution which is likely to arise. An idea supporting this might be that climate change which is a direct effect of air pollution may cause more severe and dangerous repercussions for societies in some parts of the world. As a result, a plethora of innocent people will suffer from extreme changes in environmental climate and plus this will probably pose even more threat on agriculture. Thus, the urgent actions must be taken to diminish the pollution.
Another reason for promoting the progress of addressing the hurdle named environmental contamination is the justified anticipation that if we prolong the process of resolving this, it is likely to be too late to undertake it then. A prime example can be the city called New-York which is completely polluted by the diversity of exhaust fumes produced by cars and factories. Due to lack of purification within the last decades it seems to be entirely complicated to bring fresh and pure air to New-York again. That is to say that it is indispensable to start seeking for solutions now.
After in-depth analysis of the dangerous results and believable prediction concerning the absence of steps which must be taken towards tackling the issues related to environmental pollution right now. It is highly supported that the sooner we begin to act the more beneficial it will be for us. It is hoped that the governments worldwide will comprehend this in the near future before it will have been too late.
Wayfarer
Posts: 22
Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2015 3:04 pm

Re: Please check my essay!

Post by Wayfarer »

*environmental pollution instead of protection (error in topic)
User avatar
Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Please check my essay!

Post by Flick »

Wayfarer wrote:Topic: It is time to take environmental protection under control. Do you agree?

Among many threatening issues the earth has experienced so far, pollution has invariably been one of the most global and serious. However, the actions people take are totally incongruent to the massiveness of this obstacle. Therefore, it is totally agreed that the process of tackling this problem must begin urgently. This will be proven by analyzing the consequences the halt of addressing this problem may have and the estimation that it will be too late if we reserve it for future.(<--Reword to: "This will be proven by analyzing the consequences of ignoring this problem, now and in the future.")

The first factor contributing to the necessity to start solving this problem imediately is the frightening outcome of environmental pollution which is likely to arise. An idea supporting this might be that climate change, which is a direct result of air pollution may cause more severe and dangerous repercussions for societies in some parts of the world. As a result, a plethora of innocent people will suffer from extreme changes in climate which will probably pose even more of a threat on agriculture. Thus, urgent actions must be taken to reduce pollution.

Another reason for addressing environmental contamination is the justified anticipation that if we prolong the process of resolving this, it is likely to be too late. A prime example of this is New-York, which is completely polluted by exhaust fumes produced by cars and factories. Due to lack of purification within the last decades, it seems very difficult to bring fresh and pure air to New York again. That is to say that it is indispensable to start seeking for solutions now.(<--Reword to: "This shows how important is is we start seeking solutions now.")

After in-depth analysis of the dangerous results and predictions concerning the absence of steps which must be taken towards tackling the issues related to environmental pollution right now, it is highly supported that the sooner we begin to act the more beneficial it will be for us. It is hoped that the governments worldwide will comprehend this in the near future before it is too late.
Keep it simple. Your sentences are very long, which make them difficult to understand.
Post Reply