Some people think that government should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The controversy associated with creative artists and their remuneration has been going on for a while now. This is evident from the media hypes created regarding artists and their earning. It is felt by many that government should provide funds to support creative talents, while others have opposing views about it. In this essay, I will critique both arguments before reaching a conclusion.
Many people believe that funding for creative works is required to promote a country’s culture and preserve its heritage. In Delhi, for example there are several works of arts in the public places which has been developed recently. These works enhance the beauty of the city. Also, they serve to educate people about their own country and promote tourism. This is a positive development for a nation. Hence, it is clear that why some favor the idea of government economically supporting its creative talents.
In contrast, some are of the opinion that artists do a job like other professionals, and should earn money by selling their work. Another reason stated is that the union has more important affairs to concern. Allocation of budget for areas such as education, healthcare and security is vital for a country’s development. This illustration shows that spending resources on various creative groups is a luxury.
After analyzing the merits and demerits of the arguments, I believe that artists should not depend on the state for financing. It is crucial for a country to prioritize its expenses and then decide the need of aiding artistic abilities.(253)
Writing task 2,Academic
Re: Writing task 2,Academic
Hi Soumya,
There are several impressive areas in your writing. For one, your lexical resources make use of more challenging vocabulary. Your fairly accurate use of words like "remuneration", "allocate", "merits/demerits" and phrases like "this is evident" and "preserve its heritage" really help to build the case that you are a more experienced writer of the language.
Your structure looks good. There is a central theme to the essay that is declared in the introduction and reflected upon in each of the supporting and conclusion paragraphs. Your first supporting example is sound, but I was a little confused by the second. By "union" are you referring to a union of artists? Or of the country as a whole?
Your grammar needs a bit of touching up. There are areas of improper plural usage (i.e. media hypes, several works of art, the public places which has). I would suggest getting someone to do a complete grammar cleanup of your work to help you create a strategy for improvement here.
I feel this could score band 6.5. Despite the awkwardness at times and the slight incoherence in the second supporting paragraph, the message is clear, the task is achieved and the grammar and lexical resources are (for the most part) pretty good. As I mentioned, I think further polishing of your grammar is going to be what really takes your writing to the next level.
Good luck.
There are several impressive areas in your writing. For one, your lexical resources make use of more challenging vocabulary. Your fairly accurate use of words like "remuneration", "allocate", "merits/demerits" and phrases like "this is evident" and "preserve its heritage" really help to build the case that you are a more experienced writer of the language.
Your structure looks good. There is a central theme to the essay that is declared in the introduction and reflected upon in each of the supporting and conclusion paragraphs. Your first supporting example is sound, but I was a little confused by the second. By "union" are you referring to a union of artists? Or of the country as a whole?
Your grammar needs a bit of touching up. There are areas of improper plural usage (i.e. media hypes, several works of art, the public places which has). I would suggest getting someone to do a complete grammar cleanup of your work to help you create a strategy for improvement here.
I feel this could score band 6.5. Despite the awkwardness at times and the slight incoherence in the second supporting paragraph, the message is clear, the task is achieved and the grammar and lexical resources are (for the most part) pretty good. As I mentioned, I think further polishing of your grammar is going to be what really takes your writing to the next level.
Good luck.
