In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting un

[Medina_Ismanova]

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Most teen-agers, especially, college-leavers try either earn money or make a journey of the countries before continuing education at the universities. Considering that the big part of them want to get up on their own, the others look for ideas for their future professions. However, it is impossible to predict that how this perception will influence them.

According to casual observes, there are more benefits to work or travel for a year of college-leavers. It should be noted that they, particularly, consists of males. So, first of all, they decide to get up on their own. That is the best case scenario that they refuse financial helps from their parents. Most importantly, some day they will have to provide a family with financial side. It seems to me that the first step to the independent life. Secondly, they can organize new plans for the horizon by this desicion. In addition, this travel or job helps increasing their choices and abilities since they make more friends and acquitances, plus they know about what kind of job they can manage well. Besides, it supports to choose future profession and occupations. In turn, their reliable success or future will be guaranteed too.

Nevertheless, this case may influence them negatively. An example of that is they can loose their enthusiasm for the studying. Moreover, they remain non-controlled and it makes chance to do everything they want. They may drink alcohol or smoke. At the worst is they may be decieved to influence of dangerous ideas! It has become the global problem, because almost teen-agers do not have their main idea or goal in their life. Consequently, they may become a member of the terrorists or extremists. And it causes to destroy their future. Not only their, but they can also ruin the society.

According to facts above, I must confess that future is in our hands. So, it is enough to use all abilities and choices which made for us and choose the right track.

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[Medina_Ismanova]

Please mark my essay

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[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hi Medina,
Introduction - perception is an idea or feeling, not an action
First main paragraph - You mention independence and family life together. A little confusing. Also, you need to explain exactly how these things happen, perhaps using examples.
Second main paragraph - Again, you make a lot of statements without any real support. Most people who go abroad to work or study do not become terrorists. The terrorists we hear about going to join IS specifically go abroad for that reason. In my experience teenagers start smoking and drinking way before they go abroad to work.
Conclusion - Quite weak
All the best,
David