Topic : Convenience food will become popular and will replace traditional meals. How far do you agree or disagree with this opinion
Essay :
It is beyond a shadow of a doubt that, leading a healthy diet has become a number one objective of today's individuals. A growing number of people ascertain that, fast food has got a prominent position in people's diet nowadays, whilst opponents hold the view that conventional meals are still famous in many societies. Both points hold merit, but on condition that conventional meals are organic and nutritious, they will not lose their rolr in the future. In this essay, both views will be analyzed before a detailed conclusion is drawn.
The argument in favour of people eating fast food is largely based around the idea that, in today's developed and busy life most people find it tough to make time for cooking meals at home. It can be argued that, many individuals get attracted and are motivated to replace the option of food preparation to convenience food. Majority of white collar workers, for instance would rather press the microwave button to get their meals as fast as possible.
Equally, there are strong grounds for arguing that, convenience food is mostly considered dangerous to the healthcare of the individuals, due to the fact that they are prepared using genetically modified products. For example, in the USA one in three youngsters are suffering from overweight caused by consuming processed meals excessively. Furthermore, there is still a comsiderable group of people who stick to the traditional cuisine and cooking methods. For those who regard cooking as a pastime, mostly houseviwes and retired people, convenience food deprive them of the pleasure of cooking processes.
After conducting this analysis, it is clear-cut that, regardless of the benefits of conveniencefood to some people, traditional food will not disappear in the near future since traditional cooking is still commonplace in numerous families and till the negatives of processed food are solved.
Please assess my writing task 2
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Please assess my writing task 2
Hello again, Doni!
Introduction - We are living on different planets. Having lived in many countries around the world, I can guarantee that a healthy diet is not the main concern of people. That factor is money, money, and money. Guaranteed. Chinese people put up with terrible pollution simply because the government tells them it has to happen in order for them to get rich. And they do. Fact.
Define 'fast food' and 'conventional' food. Famous? Of course pho is famous in Vietnam and knedliky are famous in the Czech Republic - what do you mean? Organic? Oh, that's a whole new essay! Looking ahead, your detailed conclusion is only two lines long!
First main paragraph - This actually proves the point I was making earlier. If people are really concerned about diet, they would work less.
Second main paragraph - The question isn't about whether fast food is healthy. The question is about whether fast food will replace traditional meals.
Conclusion - You assume that all fast food is unhealthy and all traditional food is healthy.
Overall, i have to say that this is not a good essay. You barely answer the question and most of the points you make are assumptions or totally incorrect.
As mentioned on this forum numerous times before, this is because writers tend to make bland judgments about something being right or wrong rather than actually doing what the essay question requires and looking at a topic from different angles. This can be most clearly seen in the lack of conditional sentences.
IELTS candidates often cannot see that there are different possibilities, e.g. a banana could be considered convenience food. It doesn't need preparation. It's quick. Buy. Peel Eat. Why do you think bananas are UNhealthy? Alternatively, why is a banana not convenient to eat?
My message to all candidates - THINK!!!!
All the best,
David
Introduction - We are living on different planets. Having lived in many countries around the world, I can guarantee that a healthy diet is not the main concern of people. That factor is money, money, and money. Guaranteed. Chinese people put up with terrible pollution simply because the government tells them it has to happen in order for them to get rich. And they do. Fact.
Define 'fast food' and 'conventional' food. Famous? Of course pho is famous in Vietnam and knedliky are famous in the Czech Republic - what do you mean? Organic? Oh, that's a whole new essay! Looking ahead, your detailed conclusion is only two lines long!
First main paragraph - This actually proves the point I was making earlier. If people are really concerned about diet, they would work less.
Second main paragraph - The question isn't about whether fast food is healthy. The question is about whether fast food will replace traditional meals.
Conclusion - You assume that all fast food is unhealthy and all traditional food is healthy.
Overall, i have to say that this is not a good essay. You barely answer the question and most of the points you make are assumptions or totally incorrect.
As mentioned on this forum numerous times before, this is because writers tend to make bland judgments about something being right or wrong rather than actually doing what the essay question requires and looking at a topic from different angles. This can be most clearly seen in the lack of conditional sentences.
IELTS candidates often cannot see that there are different possibilities, e.g. a banana could be considered convenience food. It doesn't need preparation. It's quick. Buy. Peel Eat. Why do you think bananas are UNhealthy? Alternatively, why is a banana not convenient to eat?
My message to all candidates - THINK!!!!
All the best,
David