Cars are great danger to human life today . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Presently, cars play siginaficant role in everybody's life and seen they seen to make people's life easy and comfortanle,but sometimes we consider about cars. we feel to put our lives on extreme risk.In this essay, I will attempt to state couple of my humble opinions.
In the first place, cars seen as a source of air pollution. Chine and France can be worth example tp being polluted by cars. Even governmental bodies are not accounting exactly about the pollution how much time takes to recover from this severe situation in couple of countries. Eventually, I find automobils harmful to atmosphere and we should take evasive action to avoid pollution before posing serious problems.
Secondly,there is reasonable aspect of cars seem faral car accident. Statistics show that in every year, thousands of people die because of car accident all over the world. Obviously, drivers often run a person over unexpectedly when they are drunk or under mental pressure. It can be immense loss for the person's family and also automobils are blamed here. Lastly, I consider that cars are dengerous sort of transport in our society.
Taking everything into account, cars are main foctor to pullute atmophere and affact peoples' life. Personally, I see car as a bridge between life and death. Perhaps the world would be safer and efficient place if cars did not come in our life.
Re: Please critique my essay and let me know about my approximate band score
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Please critique my essay and let me know about my approximate band score
Hello!
An interesting question!
Introduction - Good, but ... 'extreme risk'?
First main paragraph - 'Cars are seen as ...' No! They ARE! Fact, not opinion. Actually studies show that pollution drops dramatically even after a few days if vehicles are removed from streets (Beijing Olympics, 2008).
Second main paragraph - Oh, you were so close to making a great point! Why do we often blame cars not drivers?!
Conclusion - The second sentence is ... well ... weird!
Overall, a reasonable essay. I think you didn't really go into much detail though. Quite a lot of grammar mistakes and spelling is sometimes a problem (pullute). Some incorrect vocabulary choices (accounting, couple of countries). I suggest that you take a few minutes after writing an essay to check through it for basic errors.
All the best,
David
An interesting question!
Introduction - Good, but ... 'extreme risk'?
First main paragraph - 'Cars are seen as ...' No! They ARE! Fact, not opinion. Actually studies show that pollution drops dramatically even after a few days if vehicles are removed from streets (Beijing Olympics, 2008).
Second main paragraph - Oh, you were so close to making a great point! Why do we often blame cars not drivers?!
Conclusion - The second sentence is ... well ... weird!
Overall, a reasonable essay. I think you didn't really go into much detail though. Quite a lot of grammar mistakes and spelling is sometimes a problem (pullute). Some incorrect vocabulary choices (accounting, couple of countries). I suggest that you take a few minutes after writing an essay to check through it for basic errors.
All the best,
David
Re: Please critique my essay and let me know about my approximate band score
Some people like to go to a live sporting events, while others prefer to stay at home and watch it on television. Which do you prefer? Discuss both views using personal examples.
These days, popular sport games are challenging people to get together from all over the world. It seems great chance to travel abroad during sports events. Whereas, a group of individuals prefer to watch sporting events on television and they feel that it is enormous expense to live in foreign countries. In this essay, I am going to pay equal attention to both sides.
On major advantage of going to sporting events is that you can derive great pleasure from traveling around a country. You can see famous and ancient places you have never seen before. Let us London as an example where the last Olympic Games were occurred. The city is magnificent. You can go to Buckingham Palace or British roundabout which are most well-known among tourists. What is more, taking part in sporting events lead to immense pleasure. The opening ceremony and athletes’ feeling were unexpected and I suppose nobody forgot them who was in Olympic games.
However, going to sporting events can be great deal of expense. Living can be too costly if London is example here. Obviously, the city is one of the most expensive cities to live in the world. It is difficult to find cheap accommodation in order to live for short time. Furthermore, moving in the city is another problem that you may come across. You may spend much money on transportation, especially taxi. Therefore, most people prefer watching sporting events on television rather than going there.
All things considered, traveling abroad is brilliant idea in order to watch sporting events. Whereas, it can be too much expensive. Personally, I suppose that we desive a rest after all hard work. Let us plan to have a trip for watching sport competitions abroad. Unfortunately, what will we do if we face financial problem.
I wrote this essay in an hour and half . what should I do in order to improve writing speed ?
Thanks for advise in advance
These days, popular sport games are challenging people to get together from all over the world. It seems great chance to travel abroad during sports events. Whereas, a group of individuals prefer to watch sporting events on television and they feel that it is enormous expense to live in foreign countries. In this essay, I am going to pay equal attention to both sides.
On major advantage of going to sporting events is that you can derive great pleasure from traveling around a country. You can see famous and ancient places you have never seen before. Let us London as an example where the last Olympic Games were occurred. The city is magnificent. You can go to Buckingham Palace or British roundabout which are most well-known among tourists. What is more, taking part in sporting events lead to immense pleasure. The opening ceremony and athletes’ feeling were unexpected and I suppose nobody forgot them who was in Olympic games.
However, going to sporting events can be great deal of expense. Living can be too costly if London is example here. Obviously, the city is one of the most expensive cities to live in the world. It is difficult to find cheap accommodation in order to live for short time. Furthermore, moving in the city is another problem that you may come across. You may spend much money on transportation, especially taxi. Therefore, most people prefer watching sporting events on television rather than going there.
All things considered, traveling abroad is brilliant idea in order to watch sporting events. Whereas, it can be too much expensive. Personally, I suppose that we desive a rest after all hard work. Let us plan to have a trip for watching sport competitions abroad. Unfortunately, what will we do if we face financial problem.
I wrote this essay in an hour and half . what should I do in order to improve writing speed ?
Thanks for advise in advance
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Please critique my essay and let me know about my approximate band score
Hello!
Good essay! The key to writing in a shorter time is to have your ideas ready, meaning that you need to have done a wide range of reading and preparation.
All the best,
David
Good essay! The key to writing in a shorter time is to have your ideas ready, meaning that you need to have done a wide range of reading and preparation.
All the best,
David