Please critique this essay which is about apartments and houses

[abbasazarmehrput]

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment.
Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

There has been a heated debate among people on which type of accommodation suits people best. Although a group of people reckon that residing in a house has more advantages than disadvantages, others have a different say about this. Both these viewpoints will be analysed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.

Privacy and big space are key advantages of living in a house. For example, a friend of mine has been living in a house located in the countryside for a decade. His family and he have never ever been annoyed by their neighbours because they are far away from them. In addition to that, there is enough room for him to practise gardening, and enough space for his children to play inside the house. The main disadvantage of this kind of accommodation is that it is not within walking distance of public transportation like metro or bus. Another disadvantage could be that houses are horrendously expensive compared to flats.

The two most important plus points of residing in an apartment are safety and affordability. For instance, the only aunt of my wife lives in a 4-storey apartment located in the western part of Tehran, and her home has never ever been robbed by burglars. The main reason for this could be that this building is guarded by janitors and neighbours who live in the proximity of her accommodation. Therefore, all thieves would be spotted easily by those people, and this lowers the risk of being robbed. In addition to this, apartments are affordable and can be easily found in different parts of the city with accessibility to public transportation. The main downside of living in a flat is that residents lack spacious room to accommodate large number of people.

In summary, after hashing out both these points of view, it is felt that residing in an apartment has more advantages than disadvantages compared with living in a house. It is expected that more apartments would be built in the foreseeable future because of their affordability.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hi Abbas,

Introduction - 'reckon' is too informal.
Main paragraphs - You're not exactly answering the question, as you are comparing houses in the countryside with flats in cities. What it seems you are actually doing is comparing living in cities with living in the countryside
Conclusion - 'hashing out' is too informal.
Ideas are very general and expressed very simply.
Al the best,
David