Please kindly asses my task 2 writing - about internet

[rinriera]

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Internet is one thing that connects communication globally. Internet is used by 21st century people for both entertainment and work. Although having many advantages, some people believe that internet causes problems. I completely agree to this statement due to some reasons.

To start with, Internet is the source of information. These days, data becomes digital and constantly inputted to Internet. It is making people easier to obtain information. However, to log in to some sites, personal data is needed. The personal information includes our name, photos, phone numbers, and also credit card number. Without knowing, the data can be accessed and altered. This can actually lead to cyber crime such as encrypted credit card and fake profiles that use user's name.

Furthermore, Internet lead people social relationship. Some websites such as Facebook and Twitter is commonly used. Based on our social media, anyone can guess the user's daily routines and current location. Stranger can easily get to the location and kidnap any user at any time. This shows that internet aid criminal action. In addition, some users also use their social media to vent up their anger and sadness. This make people rarely show emotions in real life, thus leads to a relationship that badmouth each other from internet.

To conclude, I believe that Internet serve many advantages and help people do their work. Internet provide information and connect people. However, information from Internet can backlash and harm its own provider. People need to be careful when using internet, especially when inputting personal data.

(254 words)

[Evgenii Rodin]

I am not an examiner; however, were I to decide, I would give you 5.5, because you have made quite a number of grammar mistakes, your grammatical range is poor, while your vocabulary is good. If you had less mistakes, your grammatical range would let you have 6.0, because you have used several verbals and modal verbs.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

My main point would be that you have dealt with the points rather superficially. The availability of information is given the same amount of space as kidnapping!

With regard to the latter, I think that you have tired to use an extreme example and it actually weakens the essay. Actually, Facebook doesn't automatically tell people where you are and the overwhelming majority of people - including no person I have ever met - uses this feature!

Take care with arguments and points. Make sure that they are realistic and that you cover them sufficiently.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The Internet connects people globally. It is used by 21st century people for both entertainment and work. Although having many advantages, some people believe that the Internet causes problems. I completely agree with this statement for several reasons.

To start with, the Internet is the source of information. These days, data has become digital and is constantly inputted to the Internet. It is making it easier for people to obtain information. However, to log in to some sites, personal data is needed. The personal information includes our name, photo, phone number, and also credit card number. Without our knowledge, this data can be accessed and altered. This can actually lead to cyber crime such as credit card fraud and fake profiles that use other people's information.

Furthermore, the Internet influences people's social relationships. Some websites such as Facebook and Twitter are commonly used. Based on our social media, anyone can guess the user's daily routines and current location. Strangers can easily get to the location and kidnap any user at any time. This shows that the Internet aids criminal action. In addition, some users also use their social media to vent their anger and sadness. This makes people rarely show emotions in real life, thus leads to a relationship that badmouths each other online.

To conclude, I believe that the Internet has many advantages and helps people do their work. The Internet provides information and connects people. However, information from the Internet can backlash and harm its own provider. People need to be careful when using the Internet, especially when inputting personal data.

(254 words)