PLEASE GIVE DATA ABOUT DRAWBACKS OF MY WRITING TASK 2

[Max maximus]

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problems with obesity. These problems affect both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled

Nowadays, it is beyond a shadow of a doubt that many countries are confronting with obstacles pertaining to overweight in most parts of the globe. The excessive number of juveniles and adults are influenced by these problems negatively. There are some reasons posing these difficulties as well as solutions that can tackle them. This essay will look at the reasons for this and purpose some resolutions.

Firstly, one of the major causes of these problems is sedentary lifestyle that individuals are leading today. It is certain that now the majority of people have a reluctancy to do morning excersises regularly or engage in some physical activities as a cousequence of modern technology and private means of transport. For example, in Uzbekistan many people are suffering from obesity because these individuals tend to deploy their automobiles for any destinations such as supermarkets or working areas. Moreover, the number of people, especially youngsters who are busy with passive pastimes such as playing computer games and watching TV instead of training with sport is immensely high. Consequently, the problems related to obesity many dwellers of Uzbekistan have is becoming deteriorated. To solve these problems, government should implement some tangible stratigies such as producing more bicycles than cars. In addition, people should avoid passive pastimes and endeavour to do more physical activities in their free time.

Secondly, another reason posing these obstacles is the prolifiration of fast food shops in the streets. Many people have a tendency to consume fast foods due to their delicious taste or with the view to save more time. To illustrate, most population of New York eat fast food such as Hamburger or Pizza when they are commuting to work or relaxing at home. Thereby this habit can easily result in obesity as well as problems with stomach. Today, it is reported that the number of people who have overweight illnesses is booming in this city. So as to prevent this problem, indoviduals themselves should try to consume healthy meals and home made ones no matter how much time they require to be prepared. Furthermore, it would be advisable for people to keep on a diet on condition that they have already put an overweight.
By doing this, they could make a great contribution to their healthy lifestyle.

In summary, it seems to me that the main reasons of obesity problems can be sedentary lifestyle and transport as well as grown rate of fast foods in the streets. Possible solutions for these problems might be regulating more bicycles and inducing people to do physical excersises, for individuals themselves , it could be advisable to refrain from consuming fast food too much

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hi Max!

Introduction - Good!

First main paragraph - Generally good. If the government produced more bicycles, would people use them? Doubtful. China used to have plenty of people riding bicycles, but now the number is falling sharply.

Second main paragraph - The basic idea is good, but how can we convince people to lead a better lifestyle or eat more healthily?

I think that this essay is very good on the main causes, but not quite so good on the possible solutions. Time to get inventive!?

All the best,
David

[Flick]

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problems with obesity. These problems affect both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity? How could it be tackled?

Nowadays, it is beyond a shadow of a doubt that many countries around the world are faced with obstacles pertaining to obesity . An excessive number of juveniles and adults are influenced by these problems negatively. There are some reasons for these difficulties as well as solutions that can tackle them. This essay will look at the reasons for this and propose some resolutions.

Firstly, one of the major causes of these problems is the sedentary lifestyle that many individuals are leading today. It is certain that now the majority of people have a reluctance to do morning exercises regularly or engage in some physical activities as a consequence of modern technology and private means of transport. For example, in Uzbekistan many people are suffering from obesity because these individuals tend to use their automobiles to go anywhere, such as supermarkets or working areas. Moreover, the number of people, especially youngsters, who are busy with passive pastimes such as playing computer games and watching TV instead of training for a sport is immensely high. Consequently, the problems related to obesity many dwellers of Uzbekistan have are increasing. To solve these problems, the government should implement some tangible strategies, such as producing more bicycles than cars. In addition, people should avoid passive pastimes and endeavour to do more physical activities in their free time.

Secondly, another reason for these obstacles is the proliferation of fast food shops on the streets. Many people have a tendency to consume fast foods due to their delicious taste or with the view to save time. To illustrate, many people in New York eat fast foods such as hamburgers or pizza when they are commuting to work or relaxing at home. Thereby this habit can easily result in obesity as well as other stomach problems. Today, it is reported that the number of people who have obesity-related illnesses is booming in this city. So as to prevent this problem, individuals themselves should try to consume healthy meals and home-made ones no matter how much time they require to be prepared. Furthermore, it would be advisable for people to maintain a diet if they have already put on weight. By doing this, they could improve their health and lifestyle.

In summary, it seems to me that the main reasons for obesity are a sedentary lifestyle and transport as well as the increased availability of fast foods in the streets. Possible solutions for these problems might be providing more bicycles and inducing people to do physical exercise while, for individuals themselves, it is advisable to refrain from consuming fast food too often.