Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

[DJvj]

Topic
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In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?


One of the important challenges which entire world is facing today is to deal with “Global warming”. There are various contributors to it and one of among them is smoking. It releases a lot of chemicals which are not good for one’s health and even increases the level of pollution in our environment. In order to mitigate the ill-effects on health, government has imposed a ban on smoking at public places which is I think is great move and vouch for it completely.

Smoking not only spoils the environment even is a big health hazard to the person’s life who consumes and to the non-smokers (passive) around them. For e.g. in country like India where there have been many deaths noticed so far and patients are being diagnosed with mouth and lung cancer at a very early age of their life because of smoking. Smoking brings lot of implications to the passive smokers especially at the public places.

Children and elderly person who are considered to be the major victim, finds it very difficult to breathe and walk freely due to the smoke caused in the environment. Many people are being affected and diagnosed with bronchitis issues which eventually turned to prolonged disease like Asthma.

Smoking at the public places sets wrong example to the children as they may get influence with this at a very early age. For e.g. if someone has to go in a restaurant for dining with family will not find himself comfortable with others smoking at the same place as they may be allergic to it. This will even generate lot of waste in form of used buds by smokers and will also be adding a major pollutant in form of garbage. I think imposing the ban should help everyone to reduce in infecting our surrounding environment and let us move and inhale fresh air as by the end of the day “health is wealth”.







Appreciate and review the essay for GT and rate it .

Thanks in advance for your valuable feedback.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

The main thing to do here is to sort out the organisation. The conclusion introduces new points, which is not recommended and the conclusion is longer than the main paragraphs.

Points are generally good, though the global warming point is unclear - surely fossil fuels are a much greater cause, if global warming actually exists - and there has actually never been a proven death from passive smoking!

All the best,
David

[monir301]

Hi,

I would like to share my opinion with this writing .....


I think banning smoking in the public place for several reasons ... first of all, we will get a fresh environment that will help to live longer. Secondly, it will stop the motivation for teenagers who have much passion for taking cigarettes like the elder one. Thirdly, smoking cigarette totally depends on individual decision, so for the betterment of others, the govt can stop this.

[DJvj]

Thanks for the feedback , i will work on them