Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

[DJvj]

Topic:-
People should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want to, and not be forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65.
Do you agree or disagree?

***************************************************
Every organization has set an age limit for the retirement irrespective whether it’s a private or a government. In today’s dynamic and competitive environment, it makes it difficult for the aged person to co-op with it due to various reasons. As one grows older, the person won’t that be so energetic comparatively and would require frequent medical attention as and when health detroits.

By fixing the age, it will help them in spending time with their families. They can even pursue their hobbies at the leisure time which they couldn’t do it during working age and keep themselves engaged. Moreover, people above 60 require more of moral support rather be on their own all-time. Along with that, this would even help in generating new opportunities for youths and fulfill those positions shifting the paradigm with new ideas after someone retires.

On the other side of the argument, there are few people who would like to continue their work and be more independent. They really don’t want to be liable on anyone until they chose to be. Working helps them to be in a routine and makes them more active. Even they will be more active from the health perspective. Nowadays, many companies’ gives an option of extension if someone is really interested in continue with their current responsibilities. Schemes like Voluntary retirement schemes (VRS) , if someone is seeking for the early retirement then this could be an option to be considered.

I believe and completely vouch for the fixed retirement age as work shouldn’t be the only thing in life. There should be an effective work life balance and post retirement really helps an individual to pursue some activities like helping and guiding his family in venturing new things.

****************

Appreciate your feedback.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Introduction - Not every organisation has such a limit, e.g. if you own your own business. I find that I have far more energy than students half my age. I go to hospital far less than my students do, on average.

First main paragraph - Why would a person over 60, working, be on their own more than a young person doing the same job? Why do you think that young people have more ideas than older people?

Conclusion - You haven't said why you believe that, as opposed to the other arguments.

Overall, quite weak essay which relies on assumptions rather than real arguments.

All the best,
David

[monir301]

I would like to share some points for working as they can continue

First of all, for a greater contribution to the society, if a person has the ability, dedication to complete a specific work, I think forced for retirement is a bad thing. Along with, some old people don't like to waste their time by doing rough things, so easily they can utilize their experience to improve the quality of a service/organization. In addition, nowadays it seems we are becoming busy, so if an old person has strength to carry his work, it may give him to pass his time fruitfully.