Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

[DJvj]

Topic :-

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays, people are committed to lot of things and there are higher chances of them neglecting their health. As an implication, it makes them more prone to the diseases one suffers at an early age and makes them dependent on doctors frequently.

No doubt with the medical science advancement, it’s helping individual to save time and getting their results quickly. For e.g. If someone is planning to shed weight quickly without sweating out in a fitness center, they can undergo for a surgery which would be of few hours. However, one has to more cautious post -surgery as this may not be suitable for all the body types and cost friendly. Taking pills regularly is also not a good sign for a good health as one may experience some side-effects like having nausea, vomiting and so on which may affect in their work productivity.

I believe one should rigorously follow a healthier lifestyle irrespective of their job nature. This will not only help them in attaining their goals but also keep them energetic throughout the day in doing their tasks. One can start with smaller steps like taking stairs instead of lifts, having a brisk walk and control on their food habits. As far as results are concerned, this process may not give you a quicker result unlike in surgeries but will have minimal impact on the body.

To conclude this, approach of depending on the doctors would be more of reactive approach and will certainly be difficult to afford by everyone. As by the end what matters is your health.

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Appreciate your feedback.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I think that you have got the main points, but not really developed them. In the introduction, you mention 'committed to lots of things' but you don't explain this in the essay.

All the best,
David