Here is my essay on IELTS Writing Task 1. Please give any comment and suggestion so I could make it best. And also if you mind give the band score for it. Thank you
Proportion of population aged 65 and over - IELTS Writing Task 1 Practice
my essay:
The line graph compares the percentage of people aged 65 and more in three developed countries during a particular period of time over ranging 1940 to 2040.
It is clear that the number of elderly people in USA, Sweden, and Japan are increase over a century. The most noticeable trend is that Japan had experienced the most dramatic changes, whereas USA and Sweden rise steadily.
In 1940, around 9 percent of Americans were aged 65 or over while about 7 percent and 5 percent were Swedish and Japanese respectively. The proportion of elderly people in USA and Sweden grew gradually over the next 50 years by reaching just under 15 percent in 1990. On the contrary, Japan were slightly declined its population under 5 percent until the early 2000s.
Looking into the future, it is predicted Japan will rapidly increase the percentage of its elderly people with a jump of over 15 percent in a decades from 2030 to 2040. In 2040, it is also expected that around 27 percent of Japanese will be aged 65 and more, while the number of Swedish and American will be slightly lower by which 25 percent and 23 percent for each.
