Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

[DJvj]

Topic :-
Some people believe that a person’s criminal record should be removed when they reach the age of 18.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Crime rate has been increased significantly in past few years especially in case of juvenile. This has triggered a significant debate whether to maintain their records or removed. However, some people think that it has to be removed.

As crime is independent of age and gender, at times there are involvements of juveniles in it. Having kept in mind, many countries have formed a juvenile justice court in order to understand the case deeper. Whenever a juvenile is convicted in a case then he needs to undergo through a process of rehabilitation to ensure that they don’t involve themselves into crime again in future. Record can be removed as soon as they cross their age limit of 18 years considering there won’t be any hindrance in future development of the child like getting a job.

On the other side, I believe that record should always be maintained. It will ensure information about one is transparent and clear which can serve as a substantial evidence for background verification. For instance, if a person who is 18 or above and applying for a passport and has a past criminal record. This could result in issuing authorization to the wrong person due to incomplete information. There have been lots of cases which are solved where a suspect who is involved into a new crime and his previous data was available with the authorities. Hence, it helped the authorities to get his details and resolving the case quickly.

To conclude, nowadays when we are living in the digital world where there is no storage limitation and easy access of information. Therefore, deleting the record shouldn’t be encouraged as by the end crime is crime no matter who does it.

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Appreciate your feedback

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, quite good, but some points are strange/unclear. The passport example is very strange. Criminals can legally get passports in most countries.

In the conclusion you mention mass storage and easy access, but these points are not explained in the main paragraphs. The conclusion is a summary, not a place for new information.

All the best,
David