Essay#2 **there is a need to protect the environment** Grammar Help

[JamalOZ]

Question
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Many people say there is a need to protect the environment, however little effort has been made to fruition.
How do you feel about this situation? What action could be taken to prevent further environmental damage? Discuss this issue by giving real life examples.


Essay
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Environmental protection has been one of the most discussed topics during the last three decades. This being said, only few initiatives have been taken in this regards. The lack of actions create a feeling of frustration and incapacity especially when everyone knows that there is a lot to be done. This will be proven by analyzing how both international cooperation and environmental education can help preventing further environmental disasters.

Firstly, environment damage is a serious topic and has an impact on the planet globally. For this specific reason, an international cooperation and coordination should take place. For instance, measures such as the interdiction of specific noxious chemicals’ usage in the industry should be globalized and all countries in the world have to respect them. Furthermore, international standards to regulate cars' CO2 emissions have also to be put in place. Thus, it is clear that international measures can reduce the impact of human beings' actions on the planet.

Secondly, environmental awareness is synonym of environmental education. Indeed, people should be educated and sensitized to environmental problems and solutions in order to give them the opportunity to participate to the global effort of saving the planet. As an example, sensitization campaigns could be published on internet, radio and television to have the broader impact possible. Also, specific interventions at schools or universities by environmental activists could also help increasing the level of awareness about those issues and how to solve them. Therefore, it has been proven that education is a key element in solving environment issues.

After analyzing how international measures and people's education can prevent further environment impact, it is agreed that significant efforts need to be done. Clearly, this is something that should be generalized in the future to save the planet and humanity.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

What a strange question! Little effort?

Introduction - Only a few efforts?! Lack of action?!

First main paragraph - Chemicals - ok, but good luck getting some countries (e.g. North Korea) to support that. Which chemicals anyway?

Second main paragraph - This has already been done. If you are a university student who is unaware of the environmental problems we are facing, then you really aren't knowledgeable enough to be at university.

Overall, a rather strange essay. Specific problems are not dealt with and the solution (education) has already been introduced.

All the best,
David

[JamalOZ]

Hi David,

The question is from Ryan's Video. Link => https://youtu.be/jt2Hl3zznfI?list=PL34AF240668EF35F4

Thanks for your feedback.