Please assess my writing and give me a band score - Writing task1

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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niloo
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 4:07 pm

Please assess my writing and give me a band score - Writing task1

Post by niloo »

This line graph compares the popularity of three kind of fast food(pizza, fish and chips and hamburgers) among youth in Australia between the years 1975 to 2000.
Overall, fish and chips was eaten more at the start of the period, while it was replaced by hamburgers after 1985. Interestingly, pizza was the least favorite fast food over the whole period.
The consumption of pizza and hamburgers was almost the same (less than 20 times a year) in 1975. Their consumption dramatically increased until the final years. However, the growth of hamburgers were more significant in comparison to pizza and it peaked to 100 times per year by 2000, while pizza reached just over 80 times annually in 1995 and maintained stable to the end of the period.
On the other hand, fish and chips was the most common with the amount of 100 times per year in the first year of the period. Then it's popularity fluctuated and dropped to nearly under 40 times annually in 2000.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please assess my writing and give me a band score - Writing task1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

The descriptions of each of the lines are reasonable, though more detail (figures) would be useful. The summary at the beginning is incorrect - pizza was not the least favourite over the entire period.

Vocabulary and grammar are good. Mistakes do not interfere with meaning.

All the best,
David
niloo
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 4:07 pm

Re: Please assess my writing and give me a band score - Writing task1

Post by niloo »

David.IELTS.Examiner wrote:Hello!

The descriptions of each of the lines are reasonable, though more detail (figures) would be useful. The summary at the beginning is incorrect - pizza was not the least favourite over the entire period.

Vocabulary and grammar are good. Mistakes do not interfere with meaning.

All the best,
David
Dear David

Thanks for the correction.

Regards
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