Please review Task 2 for GT and rate.

[DJvj]

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extent do you agree with this statement?
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Nowadays, children are being involved in various activities from playing indoor games to glue up in front of watching TV late night. However, some of these activities may lead to the unhealthier lifestyle and affect their health.

Parents and School plays a vital role in creating the awareness among the children. Parents should monitor their children activities and shouldn’t encourage them to watch late night TV’s. They should guide them and educate them the implications of these activities. They should encourage them to follow a routine. For instance, ensure that they eat more of the healthy food instead of eating junk food often at home or whenever they go out. Children should be engaged in any kind of outdoor sports of their interest in school or outside which can keep them energized. Schools can conduct extracurricular activities like sports or hobby classes and teach them do’s and don’ts for the healthier lifestyle as children discover the joy by learning in a group.

I believe with the evolution of the technology and availability of gadgets around, Children refrain themselves from doing much of the physical activities. Instead, they prefer to browse through using their smartphones or play video games. This could bring a big health hazard for them and also impact their overall development.

To conclude, both of them are equally responsible in their role play. However, parents should have more responsibility in ensuring that the awareness is being created which can help them in their overall development of the child is happening.

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Appreciate your feedback.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

You have answered the question to some extent, but ideas are undeveloped. If solving the problem is so easy (as you suggest) why is there a problem in the first place? You also don't look at why it is the responsibility of schools and parents to do these things, as opposed to the children themselves or the government.

Grammar is very good and vocabulary is good.

All the best,
David