11-March-2016: Please check my academic writing 2

[sumansaha66]

Question: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:
Consumer goods are the commodities sold to end users to fulfill their regular needs. The sales volume of a consumer product should be influenced by it's quality and demand but now-a-days it is mainly impacted by the level of advertising that the parent company is producing. It is agreed with the fact that the increased level of sales of publicly admired consumer products are mainly due to the influence of advertising rather than the real demand of the consumers.

In today's world, the sales of a product is largely dependent on how the company is positioning it through advertisement. Companies endorse celebrities so that they feature in the advertisement of the products. When an ardent follower of a celebrity footballer sees the celebrity to wear the shoes or t-shirts of a certain brand, he or she is more inclined to buy those products despite not having real needs. Sometimes consumers purchase sophisticated mobile phones because through advertisement, the company has positioned the phone as a status symbol. In this case, the consumer might only use the phone for mundane usage which could also be done using a lower price mobile phone.

Companies are pursuing people to purchase energy drinks claimed to be multi-nutrient through their advertisements instead of buying natural foods which are more enriched in terms of nutritional value. In this case, the demand for energy drinks are mostly driven by the advertisements. Moreover the effectiveness of these energy drinks are not also proved scientifically. Most female beautification products are positioned in such a way to the customers that these products will make an women the most beautiful though their efficacy is not full-proof.

In conclusion, it can be said that people are purchasing several consumer goods only being influenced through cleverly made advertisements rather than thinking of actual requirement. Consumers should be more aware of this fact and should apply their judgement and experience while purchasing a product to avoid the trap set by the advertisement of the companies.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Nowadays is a single word without hyphens.

Change full-proof to guaranteed.

Overall, a good answer. Vocabulary is used precisely and you have included good examples. Grammar is good and mistakes do not interfere with meaning.

I think you could improve the essay by looking at the other side of the argument, but this is not required by the question.

Well done!
David