pls give me a band score for Task 1

[rairaichan0323]

There is a swimming pool proposed to be built in your town. Write to the city council and say
- Why is this swimming pool important to you?
- Suggest where it should be built.
- Why is it a good idea to have a swimming pool in the town and not outside of town?

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am delighted to learn that you are planning to build up a new swimming pool in our community. I am writing this letter to offer my suggestion.

As you must be aware, in the fast-paced urban lifestyle leisure activities are very important to individuals in order to maintain a good health. In our society, it is a lack of facilities for the citizens conducting exercises. Also, I believe that the new pool can motivate the individuals to perform regular exercises and it raises the public awareness of the significance of regular body training.

Most importantly, I would suggest that the pool should be built up in the inner city as it is convenient for people to access. Consequently, even after working, the citizens can be able to relax their bodies and ease their minds.

I would be grateful if you take my proposal into serious consideration.

Yours faithfully,
Jenny Chan

[andytruong1202]

There is a swimming pool proposed to be built in your town. Write to the city council and say
- Why is this swimming pool important to you?
- Suggest where it should be built.
- Why is it a good idea to have a swimming pool in the town and not outside of town?

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am delighted to learn that you are planning to build up a new swimming pool in our community. I am writing this letter to offer my suggestion.

As you may be aware, in the fast-paced urban lifestyle, leisure activities are very important to individuals in order to maintain a good health. In our society, there is a lack of facilities for citizens to doexercises. Also, I believe that the new pool can motivate individuals to perform regular exercises and it raises public awareness of the significance of regular body training.

Most importantly, I would suggest that the pool should be built up in inner city as it is convenient for people to access. Consequently, people can relax after work and ease their minds by going to the pool.

I would be grateful if you take my proposals into serious consideration.

Yours faithfully,
Jenny Chan

[rairaichan0323]

thank you ur comment andytruong1202 !!

[desheikh]

thank you YOUR* comment...

[Johnson zhang]

There is a swimming pool proposed to be built in your town. Write to the city council and say
- Why is this swimming pool important to you?
- Suggest where it should be built.
- Why is it a good idea to have a swimming pool in the town and not outside of town?

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am delighted to learn that you are planning to build up a new swimming pool in our community. I am writing this letter to offer my suggestion. who are 'you', you could start the letter, saying, to whom it may concern, to the management of city council. How do you ''build up'' a swimming pool ? what do you mean ' offer my suggestion'? to share your idea of a good spot for its location ?

As you must be aware, in the fast-paced urban lifestyle leisure activities are very important to individuals in order to maintain a good health. In our society, it is a lack of facilities for the citizens conducting exercises. Also, I believe that the new pool can motivate the individuals to perform regular exercises and it raises the public awareness of the significance of regular body training.
urban lifestyle leisure activities ,a noun train that goes wrong

Most importantly, I would suggest that the pool should be built up in the inner city as it is convenient for people to access. Consequently, even after working, the citizens can be able to relax their bodies and ease their minds.
how does a swimming pool relax the human body? we train and exercise in it. can you explain it a bit more
I would be grateful if you take my proposal into serious consideration.

Yours faithfully,
Jenny Chan