Task I.please,evaluate my essay

[Muxtar]

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and
industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990.

The charts illustrates data about how many people participated in education and science in two kinds of countries over a period of 10 years.
It can be clearly seen that the participation of people on every field in industrialized countries was largely higher than developing ones.It is also noticeable that figures for developed nations have dramatically increased over the decade shown.

Between 1980 and 1990 mediocre years of schooling in industrialised countries rose significantly from around over 8 years to approximately 11 years,while developing countries witnessed just a slight growth in the number of years.Similarly,indications was at the same proportion for those who was working as a scientist and technician .

By contrast,figures for expenditure on research and development tend to orientate to different directions.During the period,industrialized nations spent more than 300 billions,whereas other countries have reduced their spending on research from around 80 billion to just nearly 40 billlion.

[chaiguy]

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and
industrialised countries in two separate years: 1980 and 1990 (I added this to prevent confusion - some people may interpret it as the years between 1980 and 1990).

The charts show how many people were in education and science in two different kinds of countries over a period of 10 years (This sounds incorrect. The graphs only show data for those two years, not the time between the two years. Can you please confirm this for me?).

It can clearly be seen that the participation of industrialized countries was largely higher than developing ones for every field (I've re-worded this sentence for you to improve its flow). It also shows there was a significant rise in the figures for developed nations.

Alternatively, between 1980 and 1990, the number of average years of schooling for developed countries rose significantly - the figure rose from 8 years to just under 11 years between the two decades.

Meanwhile, the same statistic for developing countries had a slower rate of growth.. Furthermore, there are indications that the proportion between scientists and technicians was the same (<<< you should publish figures here).

By contrast, money spent on research and development are very different for the two regions. During the ten-year period, industrialized countries spent more than $300bn, whereas less developed countries only spent around $50bn - while also seeing a drop of around $50bn between 1980 and 1990.